Greetings from maternity leave

I had a baby, and I'm trying hard not to feel compelled to "snap back" or "get right back on the horse"

Art by Stephanie Davidson

We live in a culture where snapping back after birth and getting right back on the horse are celebrated and even expected. Our paltry, nay, downright embarrassing national parental leave policies ensure that every American woman knows exactly how much time we deserve after growing and birthing a new human (zero federally mandated paid leave, that is). Particularly for freelancers and HUSTLERS like us here on Substack, it would be unthinkable not to start up regular publishing two weeks after birth, right? I can do this from bed! I can do it while pumping!

Noooo, nope. I feel the tug of this unspoken expectation, but I am attempting to refuse to give into it. Please note that I am here working on this post right now, when my baby is five weeks old. And as I write I’m in my head like, is this too ambitious? Am I giving in to the truly endless demands that the internet places on writers to NEVER STOP GENERATING CONTENT? My solution at this stage is to only engage in ways that feel easy and fun—not something I’m great at, but which I’m working on, as I’ve written about before.

The reason I want to be intentional about this is that, while I am so tempted to try and do more and more as quickly as possible, but rushing back to continue trying to move forward and make progress so quickly after such a life-determining event for both me and my new daughter just doesn’t feel like the way I want to live, given the option. There are so many people who have to go back to work after a couple weeks, which is a truly insane requirement, and I am very lucky to have flexibility. So I’m attempting to not jam every nap time with to-do’s (even though, my goodness, I want to).

At the same time, I am committed to keeping Inner Workings alive and vibrant during this period! I’ve been publishing some updated, favorite essays from the archives, while

Erin Shetron

does some light moderation in the comment sections. (It’s been wonderful to see your comments are, by the way! Thank you for reading and engaging with these pieces, it eases my mind to know the newsletter isn’t coming to a grinding halt during my leave.) I also have a couple new essays saved up for January and February. They will go out to paid subscribers.

And now, I want to tell you about my girl.

While I’m still in the early weeks of postpartum, I want to limit some of the details and photos of my baby to paid readers only. This is not a call to upgrade, it just feels better to share with a smaller community at this time. Upgrade if you’d like, otherwise I’ll catch you for the next post! Thank you for understanding.