Easy and fun: Reading contemporary rom-com style + spicy fairy books. DON'T JUDGE ME. Also, and istg i'm not just saying it, working with my clients. Y'all are cool and make work not even feel like work. Rly nice v superb 10/10 clients.
Neither fun nor easy but ultimately satisfying: Not drinking alcohol. (this is, frankly, complete balls. but ultimately the benefits outweigh the buzz. alliteration, cool!)
Hard and miserable and I've given it up: Forcing myself to be a soulless, numbers-are-the-only-thing-that-matters growth hacker. As the old adage goes, "Not me, wrong bitch."
A few weeks ago I launched an interview series called “Cave of the Heart.” The concept first planted in my head five years ago and it’s finally here. I don’t think at the start I thought that it would be a formal interview series, but I just knew that finding my way to some deep inner knowing couldn’t be all on me. I felt like it was supposed to be a group project maybe, but I had no idea what it was supposed to turn into.
And now, I’ve just published the third interview in the series this week and much like your “ladies illness library” it’s just so easy and joyful. I think it’s a good example of downright rotten life experiences turning into energetic manure that’s now nourishing the soil of something life giving maybe?
Sometimes the same work that is easy and fun takes a dark turn to hard and miserable, depending where I'm at in a project's process, what day it is, how I slept, etc. I've been trying to keep slack in my schedule so if a particular day feels hard, I don't actually haaaaavvve to do anything, but this is... hard.
To your 3rd question, after 17 years of working very hard at an impossible marriage I gave the marriage up. Now life is much easier and more fun. I was like you in terms of hard and difficult. Good news is I’m older than you and you’re already looking at this. It’s partly nurture but it’s also very much nature. People like us have a super power in that some very worthwhile things lie on the other side of not much fun. It’s amazing to be able to tackle stuff. But it’s all about discernment. The ultimate goal should be ease, peace or delight - whatever motivates you. Or sometimes it has to do with integrity which can also bring us satisfaction. We just need to be clear on why we are doing a thing. And is this the right reason. Great post! As ever very well expressed. Oh, and also we are people who like to go deep. Not everyone is like this. It shows in your work.
Thanks for seeing me as someone who likes to go deep, that's definitely how I see myself 🙏. And yes I agree - many hard things have definitely paid off in my life, and I credit where I am to some extent with my ability to push through. But I think I overdid it, in retrospect. So working on a rebalance, as you say!
Also thought your identifying your reaction to Hardly Strictly Bluegrass was really illuminating. I’m the same! Free? Must not be that worthwhile. Great to let go of this.
Kind of sad that our transactional view of the world ( particularly as far as events and services go) are all framed or valued by what we pay for them in $ terms.
It permits opportunists & self promoting entrepreneurs & their like, to overcharge or exploit. Eg: My Designer Clothes cost thousands & has a particular label/logo so it’s obviously “ better or higher quality” than any other bit of clothing. Why do some paintings sell for millions and others by hundreds.... based on what? The name scrawled somewhere along the lower border somewhere.
It’s a mindgame. The more I have to pay, the better I’ll enjoy it. The philanthropic philosophy or simple desire to share good vibes with anyone & everyone ( the homeless street sleeper included) that underwrites the costs of an event like HSB is distrusted. How we value things and why is subject to so much manipulation.
Easy and fun: we were in Italy last week, and my wife and I did two epic hikes from the hill town of Ravello down to two different coastal cities near Amalfi and back up. Each hike took about two and a half hours. The scenery was stunning and the weather good. It was fun and while physically challenging, there's an ease to just moving and not having to think.
Hard and worthwhile: writing my last two weekly essay posts on Substack. Took a lot of mental energy.
Yes I think the definition of "fun" really matters here, I'm realizing this from this comment thread! Maybe something more like: energy-giving, unstressful, and idea-generating...doesn't quite have the same ring tho 😂
I invited some friends over to teach them how to do tarot readings and gahhh, it was an afternoon of the most special flow and energy. I've similarly been working on following what feels good and tuning out voices of shame. It's a work in progress, but I appreciate reminders like your piece that I'm on the right track for me. <3
Thought-provoking piece. If one defines “fun” as energizing and enjoyable — I have a couple: one easy and fun, one hard and fun.
Since retiring, I have been consulting with my old department. When they have a complicated scenario, they phone me, and we talk it through, and I give my advice (based on my 27+ years in the work.) It gets my brain working and helps other people. There is no pressure on me; like so many things, it is learning/teaching about how to think about the questions, not trying to arrive at one correct answer.
I agree that that kind of consulting work can be easyish and funish for me as well! I think the feeling that you get to just think and share knowledge without the pressure of a specific outcome is helpful.
I think there are things that drive us, that call to us and while to some they might seem difficult, boring, demanding, some people just glide while doing it.
Have you seen Bob Ross paint stones?
Easy and fun - pouring out my novellas into my ipad
Cumbersome but satisfying- moving and doing all the bureaucracy that comes with it here.
Not good for my life- some relationships, I tried and gave it my best, but I have nothing more left to give.
I have a complicated relationship with this idea and the ol’ art career. If I’m not having fun and it doesn’t feel easy, the work suffers. Then I constantly feel like I’m not doing things right because there isn’t enough misery involved.
Easy and fun: drawing for myself
Hard and worthwhile: drawing for money
Hard and miserable and giving up for good: saying yes to drawing things out of obligation
“Nothing worthwhile is easy, Ellen.” - Clark Griswald, National Lampoon’s vacation.
Love your list. I am predisposed to agree with Clark, but that's what I'm questioning. Is it really true? Increasingly I don't think so. Or maybe it's just a redefinition of the word "easy," maybe "easeful" is a better version.
Rae, I think some redefining of the word “easy” might have been involved. Like: building a flash new house is mentally much easier if you have an open cheque book and no years of paying back with Interest on a mortgage. Just imagine what wonderfully rewarding creativity that would open up in one. 🤔
Definitely “easier” and more “ fun” involved. What you possess already those sort of resources ($), natural or honed talents , or whatever previously “fun” developmental opportunities/experiences enjoyed along the way that may contribute to future activities qualifying as “ easy and fun” things to do.
On the subject of Bluegrass; I have a friend who for decades has carried a reputation for being (one of ) if not the “best” banjo picker in my country. Multiple National Championships, Industry Awards & being in hot demand as a touring & session player all support this. But in a chat 3 days ago about his early years he said “As a 13YO I heard this instrument and it made me shiver with excitement”. He bought an Op Shop banjo-mandolin, restrung it with 5 strings & requested his parents a banjo for a Christmas present. They obliged. At 13-14 years of age he couldn’t wait to come home from school, pull the banjo out and teach himself from Pete Seeger’s, Earl Scruggs & Pete Wernick’s banjo books. No face to face teacher available. Doing that WAS fun & easy because it something he wanted to do whole heartedly despite the learning frustrations and dedication to patience required along the way. At 15 he joined his first hot Bluegrass band and never looked back. Playing, is still “ easy and fun”, even if being “ on the road”, “away from family & home” etc wasn’t always.
okaayyyy okay I give I'll participate!
Easy and fun: Reading contemporary rom-com style + spicy fairy books. DON'T JUDGE ME. Also, and istg i'm not just saying it, working with my clients. Y'all are cool and make work not even feel like work. Rly nice v superb 10/10 clients.
Neither fun nor easy but ultimately satisfying: Not drinking alcohol. (this is, frankly, complete balls. but ultimately the benefits outweigh the buzz. alliteration, cool!)
Hard and miserable and I've given it up: Forcing myself to be a soulless, numbers-are-the-only-thing-that-matters growth hacker. As the old adage goes, "Not me, wrong bitch."
Easy and fun: Seeing where a new idea goes when I start to write it
Hard but satisfying: Revising my writing
Hard and miserable: Doing any of the above on an arbitrarily restrictive timeline
Thank you for writing this post! Something I’ve been thinking about A LOT lately and you really gave my feelings words.
LOL the arbitrarily restrictive timeline...TOTALLY ruins everything
It is soooo exciting when a new idea/the direction of a story comes to mind! The best feeling being a fiction writer/poet.
Literally nothing else like it!
East and fun: reading, always!
Hard but worthwhile: raising my children... 🫠
Hard and miserable and given up for good: commuting to a job and working in an office
Great list :)
Recently,
1. Easy and fun: Various instant ramen hacks.
2. Neither easy nor fun but satisfying: My 2022 income tax return.
3. Hard and miserable and given up for good: Hanya Yanagihara's "A Little Life"
Ditto on taxes!
The bane of my existence!
Very curious about these instant ramen hacks.....
A hasty synopsis from ChatGTP:
1. Add Veggies: Toss in some fresh or frozen vegetables like spinach, mushrooms, or green onions. They add color, texture, and nutrition.
2. Protein Boost: Consider adding cooked chicken, shrimp, tofu, or a poached egg for extra protein.
3. Spice It Up: Sprinkle in some red pepper flakes, hot sauce, or chili paste to give your ramen a kick.
4. Fresh Herbs: Fresh cilantro, basil, or mint can add a burst of freshness to your dish.
5. Soy Sauce or Fish Sauce: A dash of soy sauce or fish sauce can enhance the flavor.
6. Sesame Oil: A few drops of sesame oil can impart a nutty flavor.
7. Lime or Lemon: A squeeze of fresh lime or lemon juice can add zing.
8. Peanut Butter: A spoonful of peanut butter can create a creamy, flavorful broth.
9. Sriracha or Miso Paste: For a richer broth, consider adding sriracha or miso paste.
10. Cheese: Some people enjoy melting cheese into their ramen for a creamy texture.
11. Nuts: Crushed peanuts or cashews can add a crunchy element.
12. Seaweed Sheets: A sheet of seaweed (nori) adds an authentic touch.
13. Sesame Seeds: Toasted sesame seeds can enhance the flavor and texture.
14. Kimchi: If you like spicy and tangy flavors, kimchi can be a great addition.
15. Fried Garlic or Shallots: Crunchy fried garlic or shallots make a fantastic topping.
16. Cilantro and Lime: For a Thai-inspired twist, add cilantro and a squeeze of lime.
17. Coconut Milk: Create a creamy coconut ramen by adding a bit of coconut milk.
18. Sausage or Bacon: Cooked sausage or bacon can infuse your ramen with a smoky, savory taste.
19. Canned Corn: A small handful of canned corn can provide a sweet contrast.
I usually try to combine 5-6 of these at any given time 🍜
A few weeks ago I launched an interview series called “Cave of the Heart.” The concept first planted in my head five years ago and it’s finally here. I don’t think at the start I thought that it would be a formal interview series, but I just knew that finding my way to some deep inner knowing couldn’t be all on me. I felt like it was supposed to be a group project maybe, but I had no idea what it was supposed to turn into.
And now, I’ve just published the third interview in the series this week and much like your “ladies illness library” it’s just so easy and joyful. I think it’s a good example of downright rotten life experiences turning into energetic manure that’s now nourishing the soil of something life giving maybe?
Amazing!! "rotten life experiences turning into energetic manure that’s now nourishing the soil of something life giving" - perrrrfect way to put it.
Sometimes the same work that is easy and fun takes a dark turn to hard and miserable, depending where I'm at in a project's process, what day it is, how I slept, etc. I've been trying to keep slack in my schedule so if a particular day feels hard, I don't actually haaaaavvve to do anything, but this is... hard.
That's a great point Shannon! A single project can definitely encompass both. I think the idea of keeping slack is a great one, and yes, very hard.
In endurance sports, these are known as types 1, 2, and 3 fun.
Type 1. What have you done lately that was easy and fun, or had a “special energy” to it?
Was just on a call with a science writers' zoom group doing a deep read of an article.
Type 2. What have you done lately that was neither easy nor fun, but felt satisfying anyway?
It wasn't fun at the time, but you feel good afterwards, and would do it again.
Most Sunday morning group bike rides. Taxes!
Type 3. What is something hard and miserable that you’ve given up for good
Working for a corporation
Masking
LOL masking. Definitely.
🎭
To your 3rd question, after 17 years of working very hard at an impossible marriage I gave the marriage up. Now life is much easier and more fun. I was like you in terms of hard and difficult. Good news is I’m older than you and you’re already looking at this. It’s partly nurture but it’s also very much nature. People like us have a super power in that some very worthwhile things lie on the other side of not much fun. It’s amazing to be able to tackle stuff. But it’s all about discernment. The ultimate goal should be ease, peace or delight - whatever motivates you. Or sometimes it has to do with integrity which can also bring us satisfaction. We just need to be clear on why we are doing a thing. And is this the right reason. Great post! As ever very well expressed. Oh, and also we are people who like to go deep. Not everyone is like this. It shows in your work.
Thanks for seeing me as someone who likes to go deep, that's definitely how I see myself 🙏. And yes I agree - many hard things have definitely paid off in my life, and I credit where I am to some extent with my ability to push through. But I think I overdid it, in retrospect. So working on a rebalance, as you say!
Also thought your identifying your reaction to Hardly Strictly Bluegrass was really illuminating. I’m the same! Free? Must not be that worthwhile. Great to let go of this.
Kind of sad that our transactional view of the world ( particularly as far as events and services go) are all framed or valued by what we pay for them in $ terms.
It permits opportunists & self promoting entrepreneurs & their like, to overcharge or exploit. Eg: My Designer Clothes cost thousands & has a particular label/logo so it’s obviously “ better or higher quality” than any other bit of clothing. Why do some paintings sell for millions and others by hundreds.... based on what? The name scrawled somewhere along the lower border somewhere.
It’s a mindgame. The more I have to pay, the better I’ll enjoy it. The philanthropic philosophy or simple desire to share good vibes with anyone & everyone ( the homeless street sleeper included) that underwrites the costs of an event like HSB is distrusted. How we value things and why is subject to so much manipulation.
So true. We can just look at how many essential professions are underpaid.
Easy and fun: we were in Italy last week, and my wife and I did two epic hikes from the hill town of Ravello down to two different coastal cities near Amalfi and back up. Each hike took about two and a half hours. The scenery was stunning and the weather good. It was fun and while physically challenging, there's an ease to just moving and not having to think.
Hard and worthwhile: writing my last two weekly essay posts on Substack. Took a lot of mental energy.
Great post.
Easy and fun: Cooking dinner when I don't need to follow a recipe and it comes out ok
Hard but satisfying: Cooking dinner when I'm following a new a recipe and it comes out ok
Hard and miserable: As above and the food turns out lousy
Yes yes yes to all of this!
One of my favorite phrases: “You can’t un-fun your way into fun.”
I’ve let “What looks fun and easy?” be my guide the last few years and it has yet to let me down!
Of course I may have a strange idea of “fun”...
Yes I think the definition of "fun" really matters here, I'm realizing this from this comment thread! Maybe something more like: energy-giving, unstressful, and idea-generating...doesn't quite have the same ring tho 😂
even answering these questions is scary af for me lol
I definitely thought of you while writing this and worried it might be a little traumatic for you to read
But Alex, you'd be the best at it!
I invited some friends over to teach them how to do tarot readings and gahhh, it was an afternoon of the most special flow and energy. I've similarly been working on following what feels good and tuning out voices of shame. It's a work in progress, but I appreciate reminders like your piece that I'm on the right track for me. <3
Thought-provoking piece. If one defines “fun” as energizing and enjoyable — I have a couple: one easy and fun, one hard and fun.
Since retiring, I have been consulting with my old department. When they have a complicated scenario, they phone me, and we talk it through, and I give my advice (based on my 27+ years in the work.) It gets my brain working and helps other people. There is no pressure on me; like so many things, it is learning/teaching about how to think about the questions, not trying to arrive at one correct answer.
I also really like doing my taxes!
Amazing that you like doing taxes :)
I agree that that kind of consulting work can be easyish and funish for me as well! I think the feeling that you get to just think and share knowledge without the pressure of a specific outcome is helpful.
“This is my kung-fu” (The Core)
I think there are things that drive us, that call to us and while to some they might seem difficult, boring, demanding, some people just glide while doing it.
Have you seen Bob Ross paint stones?
Easy and fun - pouring out my novellas into my ipad
Cumbersome but satisfying- moving and doing all the bureaucracy that comes with it here.
Not good for my life- some relationships, I tried and gave it my best, but I have nothing more left to give.
I’m glad you wrote about this!
I have a complicated relationship with this idea and the ol’ art career. If I’m not having fun and it doesn’t feel easy, the work suffers. Then I constantly feel like I’m not doing things right because there isn’t enough misery involved.
Easy and fun: drawing for myself
Hard and worthwhile: drawing for money
Hard and miserable and giving up for good: saying yes to drawing things out of obligation
“Nothing worthwhile is easy, Ellen.” - Clark Griswald, National Lampoon’s vacation.
👋 Hey Beth!
Love your list. I am predisposed to agree with Clark, but that's what I'm questioning. Is it really true? Increasingly I don't think so. Or maybe it's just a redefinition of the word "easy," maybe "easeful" is a better version.
Rae, I think some redefining of the word “easy” might have been involved. Like: building a flash new house is mentally much easier if you have an open cheque book and no years of paying back with Interest on a mortgage. Just imagine what wonderfully rewarding creativity that would open up in one. 🤔
Definitely “easier” and more “ fun” involved. What you possess already those sort of resources ($), natural or honed talents , or whatever previously “fun” developmental opportunities/experiences enjoyed along the way that may contribute to future activities qualifying as “ easy and fun” things to do.
On the subject of Bluegrass; I have a friend who for decades has carried a reputation for being (one of ) if not the “best” banjo picker in my country. Multiple National Championships, Industry Awards & being in hot demand as a touring & session player all support this. But in a chat 3 days ago about his early years he said “As a 13YO I heard this instrument and it made me shiver with excitement”. He bought an Op Shop banjo-mandolin, restrung it with 5 strings & requested his parents a banjo for a Christmas present. They obliged. At 13-14 years of age he couldn’t wait to come home from school, pull the banjo out and teach himself from Pete Seeger’s, Earl Scruggs & Pete Wernick’s banjo books. No face to face teacher available. Doing that WAS fun & easy because it something he wanted to do whole heartedly despite the learning frustrations and dedication to patience required along the way. At 15 he joined his first hot Bluegrass band and never looked back. Playing, is still “ easy and fun”, even if being “ on the road”, “away from family & home” etc wasn’t always.
Ah, like Vincent, one must suffer for your Art?