THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I’ve felt like the outsider freak for so long. Society, business, acquaintances — you’re a hero if you can shine on 4 hours sleep — you get to brag about it. I think it’s time for us to start bragging about 9!!!
Yesss! The thing I find challenging with my early bedtime and need for sleep is finding the time to socialize, and explaining to friends that it’s not that I don’t want to spend time with them… it’s that I can’t go out to a concert or have a late dinner and also feel human and functional the next day. I would *love* to go to a show with you… if that show was at, say, 2pm on a Saturday. Can we start a movement to bring more cool things to the matinee time slot?
A theater near me recently did a performance on a Thursday afternoon for the first time, and it was packed. So maybe some places are, but I could see it being more popular in the winter than in the summer.
I always say “I’m a Taurus I need my sleep” 😂 I just feel so much better after 9 hours of sleep. I was absolutely shook when I heard Dakota Johnson sleeps like 10-14 hours a night. so jelly
As someone that drank the tech-bro kool-aid in his first startup, I'm guilty of trying many things like Polyphasic sleep to reduce my sleep time. I saw sleep as a waste. A waste of time that could have been spent coding, selling, learning.
But I didn't realize the impact that had on my emotions and health. As someone with chronic depression, I've discovered good sleep means a little less pain every day. A little less binge eating. A little less anti-social behavior. It's led to more good habits and less bad ones.
I'm glad I got this in my inbox on a day where I only achieved four hours of sleep.
SAME. I completely lost my mind when my daughter was young because of the sleep deprivation. No joke.
I've always needed it. And it isn't changing and those times when I think I can "be like everyone else" I am inevitably a mess for a good few days afterwards. Solidarity sister!
Wow. I’ve been told by so many people that I am “obsessed with sleep”. I am someone who feels best with nine hours of sleep and I move heaven and earth to get it. I have never heard (read) someone talk (write) so candidly about feeling like I do about sleep before. Thank you for writing this. I had no idea there were more people like me out there!!
I also function better with nine hours of sleep, but I realize this is also culture-bound. When I spoke to Dr. Benjamin Cheung, he told me about a study he conducted where culture not only affects how much sleep you think you need but how much sleep you need. In their study, researchers investigated sleep patterns and beliefs among university students from European Canadian, Asian Canadian, and Japanese backgrounds. Cultural variations were observed in sleep duration, efficiency, and perceptions of its health implications. Japanese students, despite sleeping less, reported better health and lower fatigue compared to European Canadians. They also held weaker beliefs regarding the relationship between sleep and physical well-being and preferred shorter ideal sleep durations.
What's interesting is that it wasn't just about self-report measures. Japanese participants actually performed better on less sleep than Canadians.
I've noticed this myself, too. When I travelled to Vietnam, I needed much less sleep near the end of the 4 months than when I arrived. It seems acculturating made me need less sleep.
I’m reading this after a 3.30am inexplicable wake up when I couldn’t get back to sleep (thanks perimenopause!) and I did stay in bed and have a 6-9am snooze. I feel *dreadful* and also very very seen!
Oh my goodness I love this so much. I remember thinking it was strange how I always wanted nine hours of sleep before I had my twins. I have been deranged for the past 17 years. Now I have menopause and new kinds of sleep interruptions, which started just when my kids Stopped needing me so much at night. I have a daughter with type one diabetes and so I have been a light sleeper since she was diagnosed at age 3 lots of testing at night and adjusting medication or sugar intake. Sleep is my religion. This is a great essay! Honestly, I think I would’ve liked it even if I wasn’t a nine hour kind of lady.
I am also a person that really needs to sleep. If I get less than 8 hours I feel like I am getting sick the next day. I am for at least 8, but prefer more. As much as I need my nightly sleep, I have never been a napper
Just woke from a delicious nap to read this and yes, yes, and yes to all of it! I learned like 3 weeks ago that sleep studies and the whole 7-8 hour thing is based on study participants who were largely men. I mean, of course, but also grrrr!
Proud to say my children do not have sleep shame and I raised my now teens to prioritize sleep. I let them go to school late to catch up when needed because I get it.
Yes Yes Yes!!! All of this is soooo true. I cannot function if I have less than 7 hours- and I need a solid 8 to feel reasonably good. The world is definitely made of different camps, and I love the recognition that not sleeping is some sort of aspirational state! Why?!?
Lol I love this. I was the all-nighter test-taker in college and told myself I didn't need sleep for years (I had to be in the office at 6am for my Goldman job right out of college, and I wanted a social life).
Then I met my now-husband, who was in bed by 9pm every night (versus my 2am bedtime), so I had to slowly creep back my sleep schedule to get enough daytime hours with him 😂 Now I realize how overtired I was, because I'm still in the new(ish) days of motherhood, and the lack of sleep is rocking my BOAT.
Also, just want to say I laughed out loud here: "whereby tech bros transformed sleep into something cool, the way they made SlimFast cool for men by calling it Soylent"
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I’ve felt like the outsider freak for so long. Society, business, acquaintances — you’re a hero if you can shine on 4 hours sleep — you get to brag about it. I think it’s time for us to start bragging about 9!!!
me too! 9 or 10, depending on so many factors.
Oh my goodness I feel SEEN
Yesss! The thing I find challenging with my early bedtime and need for sleep is finding the time to socialize, and explaining to friends that it’s not that I don’t want to spend time with them… it’s that I can’t go out to a concert or have a late dinner and also feel human and functional the next day. I would *love* to go to a show with you… if that show was at, say, 2pm on a Saturday. Can we start a movement to bring more cool things to the matinee time slot?
A theater near me recently did a performance on a Thursday afternoon for the first time, and it was packed. So maybe some places are, but I could see it being more popular in the winter than in the summer.
I always say “I’m a Taurus I need my sleep” 😂 I just feel so much better after 9 hours of sleep. I was absolutely shook when I heard Dakota Johnson sleeps like 10-14 hours a night. so jelly
As someone that drank the tech-bro kool-aid in his first startup, I'm guilty of trying many things like Polyphasic sleep to reduce my sleep time. I saw sleep as a waste. A waste of time that could have been spent coding, selling, learning.
But I didn't realize the impact that had on my emotions and health. As someone with chronic depression, I've discovered good sleep means a little less pain every day. A little less binge eating. A little less anti-social behavior. It's led to more good habits and less bad ones.
I'm glad I got this in my inbox on a day where I only achieved four hours of sleep.
It's a wake-up call.
SAME. I completely lost my mind when my daughter was young because of the sleep deprivation. No joke.
I've always needed it. And it isn't changing and those times when I think I can "be like everyone else" I am inevitably a mess for a good few days afterwards. Solidarity sister!
Wow. I’ve been told by so many people that I am “obsessed with sleep”. I am someone who feels best with nine hours of sleep and I move heaven and earth to get it. I have never heard (read) someone talk (write) so candidly about feeling like I do about sleep before. Thank you for writing this. I had no idea there were more people like me out there!!
Now I don't feel like a crazy person for religiously guarding my bedtime of 8:30PM for most of my life.
I also function better with nine hours of sleep, but I realize this is also culture-bound. When I spoke to Dr. Benjamin Cheung, he told me about a study he conducted where culture not only affects how much sleep you think you need but how much sleep you need. In their study, researchers investigated sleep patterns and beliefs among university students from European Canadian, Asian Canadian, and Japanese backgrounds. Cultural variations were observed in sleep duration, efficiency, and perceptions of its health implications. Japanese students, despite sleeping less, reported better health and lower fatigue compared to European Canadians. They also held weaker beliefs regarding the relationship between sleep and physical well-being and preferred shorter ideal sleep durations.
What's interesting is that it wasn't just about self-report measures. Japanese participants actually performed better on less sleep than Canadians.
I've noticed this myself, too. When I travelled to Vietnam, I needed much less sleep near the end of the 4 months than when I arrived. It seems acculturating made me need less sleep.
I’m reading this after a 3.30am inexplicable wake up when I couldn’t get back to sleep (thanks perimenopause!) and I did stay in bed and have a 6-9am snooze. I feel *dreadful* and also very very seen!
Oh my goodness I love this so much. I remember thinking it was strange how I always wanted nine hours of sleep before I had my twins. I have been deranged for the past 17 years. Now I have menopause and new kinds of sleep interruptions, which started just when my kids Stopped needing me so much at night. I have a daughter with type one diabetes and so I have been a light sleeper since she was diagnosed at age 3 lots of testing at night and adjusting medication or sugar intake. Sleep is my religion. This is a great essay! Honestly, I think I would’ve liked it even if I wasn’t a nine hour kind of lady.
I am also a person that really needs to sleep. If I get less than 8 hours I feel like I am getting sick the next day. I am for at least 8, but prefer more. As much as I need my nightly sleep, I have never been a napper
Just woke from a delicious nap to read this and yes, yes, and yes to all of it! I learned like 3 weeks ago that sleep studies and the whole 7-8 hour thing is based on study participants who were largely men. I mean, of course, but also grrrr!
Proud to say my children do not have sleep shame and I raised my now teens to prioritize sleep. I let them go to school late to catch up when needed because I get it.
I’m team nine hours of sleep too!! These hours are the foundation of my day 🙏🏻
Yes Yes Yes!!! All of this is soooo true. I cannot function if I have less than 7 hours- and I need a solid 8 to feel reasonably good. The world is definitely made of different camps, and I love the recognition that not sleeping is some sort of aspirational state! Why?!?
Lol I love this. I was the all-nighter test-taker in college and told myself I didn't need sleep for years (I had to be in the office at 6am for my Goldman job right out of college, and I wanted a social life).
Then I met my now-husband, who was in bed by 9pm every night (versus my 2am bedtime), so I had to slowly creep back my sleep schedule to get enough daytime hours with him 😂 Now I realize how overtired I was, because I'm still in the new(ish) days of motherhood, and the lack of sleep is rocking my BOAT.
Also, just want to say I laughed out loud here: "whereby tech bros transformed sleep into something cool, the way they made SlimFast cool for men by calling it Soylent"