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Abby Suarez's avatar

I have been happily reading your newsletter for a few months (found you via Both Are True) -- this is my first time commenting and I just had to because omg how this resonates. I am a mother of two (ages 5 & 10) and I find myself in a time of mothering and taking care of home as my main work. Your suggestion of the three-legged stool of paid work, life maintenance work and creative work makes so much sense. It seems simple but since society is not set up to support this framework, I haven’t considered a three-part balance like this before. Just last night, I was folding laundry, making piles on the bed (jinx!), and I thought -- this is relaxing. I’m actually kind of enjoying this. But then I thought -- what does it mean about me that I am enjoying this? (Sounds weird but hopefully makes sense?) Anyway - THANK YOU. This is extremely helpful.

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MU's avatar

Feels like the advice to outsource housework is a recent manifestation of the broader, long-term diminishment and undervaluing of traditional “women’s work.” I’m with you--let’s challenge this diminishment. I also find life maintenance work grounding, connecting me to the physicality and tangibility of life as well to other people. The immediacy of the results are uniquely satisfying to me. So much of my other work has uncertain outcomes but if I fold the laundry carefully, the clothes are there to behold.

Love reading every week!

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