This is hilarious given your family’s Ezra Klein joke, but I think the suggestion to light a candle before creative work also came from a Klein podcast! At least that’s where I heard it, on the recent Rick Rubin interview!
I’m interesting thoughts combined with humor, very much enjoyed. I am not Jewish, but as someone raised in the Episcopal Church and now not church going, I find I can’t entirely escape it even if I think I want to. A couple of things: there are those who would say your desire or yearning to incorporate some meaningful ritual like Shabbat is evidence of God’s continued invitation to be in relationship with him/her/fill in the blank. That when we do things like this, we are responding to a call we may not even be aware of. Second, the communal thing...some would say it is only in relationships that we learn how to experience the love and support God has in mind for us. We don’t learn it in isolation. We go to exercise class to experience pain and agony along with others. Just thought I would riff a bit on your exploration here. Enjoyed your piece very much.
I am Jewish and Orthodox; what's known as a hozeret b-teshuvah, or a woman who returned to Jewish tradition (and law) after having been irreligious. At some point in my twenties, I began feeling the need for spiritual connection to...something. I was a Buddhist for a while, I remember. While I learned to respect other creeds more deeply than before, I wasn't satisfied. Now - I grew up in an observant house. My big thing, especially as a teenager, was to be free, to determine my life for myself. Right? That's what teenagers do, more often than not. Ultimately, what drew me back to Judaism was zemirot, traditional liturgical poems sung by everyone around the Shabbat table; and the nigunim, wordless melodies out of Eastern Europe sung to rhythmical beating on the table. The soulful quality of the melodies, the yearning, knowing that Jews have sung these same poems and melodies for centuries, moved me to ask, What's in these words, in these songs? It was always the desire to connect to God. So I began to light Shabbat candles.
Over the years, I took on more and more of Jewish law, because as Kelsey Osgood succintly wrote, "But no, we do it for a very unfashionable, very simple, supremely awesome reason: because God told us to. The Torah is often terse and cagey about the reasons underpinning certain demands, but it does shed a little more light on why we observe Shabbat: It’s a behavioral manifestation of the covenant between God and the Jews, a way of imitating God’s own cessation from creation in the Book of Genesis, a reminder of our calling to be holy and sanctified." I'm now 68, mother of four, grandmother of six. These are the thoughts of my heart.
We baptized our first child but haven’t with the other two. Now my older kids are taken to Sunday school by their grandparents. When I attended their Christmas nativity *pageant* it was really nice to be reminded of childhood traditions, and who can resist their 5 year old in a sheep costume?! But this past weekend we attended again to hear them sing and it is definitely a hard no. As my world views and own wisdom has expanded, I just don’t enjoy Christianity. But at the same time it’s hard and weird bc there are so many memories tied to it. There are many ways to honor the values at the core of rites, that aren’t laden with the other things that bother you.
I’m going to try that candle trick when I write my next piece - such a good idea!
On your general concern about exploring your Jewish tradition only ‘superficially’, I wouldn’t worry about it. The core belief at the centre of any religion is a belief in god (or gods for those still hanging onto polytheism), so if you can’t get on board with that then in some sense you’re not really bought into the whole thing. But that doesn’t mean you have to throw out the baby with the bath water. Our modern notion of human rights comes directly from Judeo-Christian traditions, but it doesn’t feel superficial to cherry pick the notion of every human life being equally valuable without taking all of the tradition. In the same way, you’re free to take the part of Shabbat you find meaningful without taking the entire Jewish tradition. The fact that other people are doing something similar (while making your own attempt frustratingly unoriginal!) probably means that others are seeking the same grain of wisdom in the old tradition.
In Getting Good at Getting Older, a book I wrote with my late husband published in 2019 there’s a section on Getting Good at Gaining Wisdom which offers different spiritual tools. On is “unplugging.” The article is by Tiffany Shlain. she and now so many others have written a great deal about creating a Shabbat by what you don’t do- using electronics, for example,as well as what you do do- lighting candles.
omg wow!!! also a jewish person here who has pretty disconnected from her “roots” for several decades and decided to do a weekly shabbat dinner with her three goy friends at the beginning of 2023 (also mostly bc of the candles). this article is how i found out i’m behind, but also i guess part of the cultural lexicon?? i will say the community aspect has been a large part of it for me, even if the community is just my partner and our two best friends :)
Oh now I'm getting nostalgic for my own kid's experience with Shabbat when we made it at home. My husband's not Jewish, I think I went through what you did, seeing Christmas all around us when our son was little and wanting to offer him something else.
This is hilarious given your family’s Ezra Klein joke, but I think the suggestion to light a candle before creative work also came from a Klein podcast! At least that’s where I heard it, on the recent Rick Rubin interview!
I’m interesting thoughts combined with humor, very much enjoyed. I am not Jewish, but as someone raised in the Episcopal Church and now not church going, I find I can’t entirely escape it even if I think I want to. A couple of things: there are those who would say your desire or yearning to incorporate some meaningful ritual like Shabbat is evidence of God’s continued invitation to be in relationship with him/her/fill in the blank. That when we do things like this, we are responding to a call we may not even be aware of. Second, the communal thing...some would say it is only in relationships that we learn how to experience the love and support God has in mind for us. We don’t learn it in isolation. We go to exercise class to experience pain and agony along with others. Just thought I would riff a bit on your exploration here. Enjoyed your piece very much.
I am Jewish and Orthodox; what's known as a hozeret b-teshuvah, or a woman who returned to Jewish tradition (and law) after having been irreligious. At some point in my twenties, I began feeling the need for spiritual connection to...something. I was a Buddhist for a while, I remember. While I learned to respect other creeds more deeply than before, I wasn't satisfied. Now - I grew up in an observant house. My big thing, especially as a teenager, was to be free, to determine my life for myself. Right? That's what teenagers do, more often than not. Ultimately, what drew me back to Judaism was zemirot, traditional liturgical poems sung by everyone around the Shabbat table; and the nigunim, wordless melodies out of Eastern Europe sung to rhythmical beating on the table. The soulful quality of the melodies, the yearning, knowing that Jews have sung these same poems and melodies for centuries, moved me to ask, What's in these words, in these songs? It was always the desire to connect to God. So I began to light Shabbat candles.
Over the years, I took on more and more of Jewish law, because as Kelsey Osgood succintly wrote, "But no, we do it for a very unfashionable, very simple, supremely awesome reason: because God told us to. The Torah is often terse and cagey about the reasons underpinning certain demands, but it does shed a little more light on why we observe Shabbat: It’s a behavioral manifestation of the covenant between God and the Jews, a way of imitating God’s own cessation from creation in the Book of Genesis, a reminder of our calling to be holy and sanctified." I'm now 68, mother of four, grandmother of six. These are the thoughts of my heart.
In Buddhism, “personal” liberation is supported through the Sangha. Shabbat on!
We baptized our first child but haven’t with the other two. Now my older kids are taken to Sunday school by their grandparents. When I attended their Christmas nativity *pageant* it was really nice to be reminded of childhood traditions, and who can resist their 5 year old in a sheep costume?! But this past weekend we attended again to hear them sing and it is definitely a hard no. As my world views and own wisdom has expanded, I just don’t enjoy Christianity. But at the same time it’s hard and weird bc there are so many memories tied to it. There are many ways to honor the values at the core of rites, that aren’t laden with the other things that bother you.
I’m going to try that candle trick when I write my next piece - such a good idea!
On your general concern about exploring your Jewish tradition only ‘superficially’, I wouldn’t worry about it. The core belief at the centre of any religion is a belief in god (or gods for those still hanging onto polytheism), so if you can’t get on board with that then in some sense you’re not really bought into the whole thing. But that doesn’t mean you have to throw out the baby with the bath water. Our modern notion of human rights comes directly from Judeo-Christian traditions, but it doesn’t feel superficial to cherry pick the notion of every human life being equally valuable without taking all of the tradition. In the same way, you’re free to take the part of Shabbat you find meaningful without taking the entire Jewish tradition. The fact that other people are doing something similar (while making your own attempt frustratingly unoriginal!) probably means that others are seeking the same grain of wisdom in the old tradition.
Nice.
In Getting Good at Getting Older, a book I wrote with my late husband published in 2019 there’s a section on Getting Good at Gaining Wisdom which offers different spiritual tools. On is “unplugging.” The article is by Tiffany Shlain. she and now so many others have written a great deal about creating a Shabbat by what you don’t do- using electronics, for example,as well as what you do do- lighting candles.
omg wow!!! also a jewish person here who has pretty disconnected from her “roots” for several decades and decided to do a weekly shabbat dinner with her three goy friends at the beginning of 2023 (also mostly bc of the candles). this article is how i found out i’m behind, but also i guess part of the cultural lexicon?? i will say the community aspect has been a large part of it for me, even if the community is just my partner and our two best friends :)
as a reciprocal courtesy please subscribe to my post , thanks, nazneen
Oh now I'm getting nostalgic for my own kid's experience with Shabbat when we made it at home. My husband's not Jewish, I think I went through what you did, seeing Christmas all around us when our son was little and wanting to offer him something else.
This article really spoke to my heart. I am living through the exact same. Thank you so much for sharing!