13 Comments

Jaw dropping. Name and shame. All the best on your maternity leave.

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Magnificent piece. Be you.

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This is so insightful, re-read so many lines and sections. I'm actually grateful, I think, when one of these guys says what they are thinking out loud, because it gives something concrete to what we know is going on unsaid. The sanitary box cleaner - he clearly hates and/or is scared of women. He would never think himself a misogynist I'm sure, but he's unwittingly told us in that anecdote what he is. And that will be there behind all his seemingly friendly interactions with women. I suspect the only difference in 2023 is he may be wouldn't say this in public - but he'd still think it, and treat us, however subtly, as messy and other.

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This was awesome, Rachel. The idea that things, this world, turns on power and position and seeks often to merely intimidate. Contrast that with inherent life carrying, holding, nurturing strength and power of a woman. This seems a natural, a spiritual order. Which is why the initial is but an imposter. It's not a material order, but a spiritual one. I'm sorry you endured those difficult experiences and situations. You possess serious inner strength. Wise choices, serious wonderful news for you, Rachel!

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So good. It is amazing the things women have to put up with. I wish I had been brave enough to speak up against the boss who constantly hit on me. It was so damn uncomfortable and he likely has no idea that how he behaved was inappropriate.

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In academia, in the 60s, women were not taken seriously and were told to go home and do womanly job of raising kids. This doesn’t happen anymore. The law prevents it from happening. We are not told to go home and raise children. BUT we are never taken as seriously as a white men colleague who is not as smart or hardworking. We don’t get believed if our words are contradicted by men. Our bosses, maybe unconsciously, don’t take our word but always question our goals and propositions for next steps. They ask as to do what the “white male colleague” do for identifying something scientific, because that technique seems to be great. Sure I don’t get told to go home and raise kids, but what is worse for me is that I get exposed to hardcore deep sexism that is hard to show or prove. It isn’t as obviously done as in the 60s.

Thank you for sharing your experiences, these are not only eye opening but also revealing the hardcore truth that sexism in 21st century is not that different from the 60s, especially when it comes to men asking for sexual advances from women. Absolutely barfing: “Like, for example, if you were going to try and get me to leave my wife, you would really, really have to convince me.” 

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Wishing you a smooth delivery and magical beginnings with your new babe. We’ll see you when you get back 🧡

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Amazing, Thank you .

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Your superb, detailed narration of in, out of the SV felt like I was watching a movie that keeps me in suspense. It looked like the deep state in a political inner circle trying to woo voters with the never-seen-before packages. The politics behind the scenes are intriguing, the domineering men salivating for the educated, career-wise women with stable income, the YOLLO life you can only imagine in your dreams.... At that moment, every man can declare that he is divorced, single, or even never married. The SV can , on the dark side, resemble a jungle. There is the prey and the preyed. I enjoyed your post 📫

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Wishing you safe and healthy delivery, Rachel. Oh I can't express how much I resonate with your writing. Been in male-dominated engineering and tech space for over a decade, related first-hand to the fake smiles and agreeable nods you had been through...

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Wow. I relate to this so much. If this is happening at such scale - Silicon Valley - the world’s richest people, imagine how often this happens in the daily lives of American women. I wish men could live one day in our shoes in how it feels to be treated in corporate America. It makes me SO ANGRY they will never know.

This article brought back so many memories: attending a seminar at Harvard Biz School where the moderator trash talked his wife on stage and no one said anything, having gross old men talk about women’s bodies at work and no one saying anything, taking sales meetings with creeps, never knowing if a meeting with a male was going to be a creep.

Sorry you had to go through all of this. It sucks!!!

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Gosh, it's really no surprise that so many women are suffering from menstrual and hormonal disorders when you consider how much we need to disconnect from our own bodies in order to live in this world. Thanks for your frank sharing on this important subject

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