Love this and how you find the thread between the two books (big fan of How to Talk but hadn’t heard of the older one!)
My little girl is just out of the toddler phase and I remember finding a lot of self control and empowerment out of using calm phrases like “sand isn’t for throwing”… tho we totally let sofa bouncing occur as we have a jumper and it brings her so much joy 🤣
I also love reading how you go with gut and then take advice where it’s coming from a trusted source, and maybe with a book rec. that’s certainly how I’m trying to approach things now, especially with #2 on the way. Lovely to tap into your parenting brain here over the Substack waves. I wasn’t here with baby #1, and I’m hopeful that adding these more meaningful insights and community interactions alongside local friends will totally change the experience of those advice seeking moments you desire.
Welcome back, Rachel! I hope you are doing well adjusting to life with two. I am not caught up on all of your latest, but I am so glad I chose this as my piece to read while eating breakfast at 9:45 even though I have been up for three and a half hours! So much of this resonated with me down to the copy of "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen" that is half-perused on my nightstand too. Along with "Simplicity Parenting," "Good Inside," "Good Anxiety," "The Complete Guide to the Enneagram"...I could go on. I have an approach similar to you - I take what I like from the buffet and leave what I don't BUT sometimes my struggle is consistency. AND I love how you are trying this approach on yourself. Mine would be - coffee is not for empty stomachs. Also, I should note that people do spend a lot of money to put avocados in your hair so maybe your son is on to something...
I love this! It's so refreshing when you realize not all the advice from our parents (or grandparents!) wasn't completely outdated . Thanks for sharing!
Always enjoy the defence of old-school parenting. Not everything needed to be thrown out with the bath water. Annoyingly, so many teachers and parents misunderstand authoritative as authoritarian and therefore won't enforce any boundaries at all!
I recently took a play therapy inspired course called Language of Listening that utilized this same framework, and it’s been great for our girls. Love the insight about turning the tables and using the same phrasing for ourselves.
I really enjoyed reading this and immediately remembered overhearing another mom use this phrasing with her toddler at a coffee shop last year. I currently have a 5 year old who is yelling and an almost 2 year old who is biting, so.....time to switch it up!
“TikTok isn’t for relaxing and winding down, TikTok isn’t for relaxing and winding down…”
Honestly feeling like this is the self-parenting hint I needed!
Love this and how you find the thread between the two books (big fan of How to Talk but hadn’t heard of the older one!)
My little girl is just out of the toddler phase and I remember finding a lot of self control and empowerment out of using calm phrases like “sand isn’t for throwing”… tho we totally let sofa bouncing occur as we have a jumper and it brings her so much joy 🤣
I also love reading how you go with gut and then take advice where it’s coming from a trusted source, and maybe with a book rec. that’s certainly how I’m trying to approach things now, especially with #2 on the way. Lovely to tap into your parenting brain here over the Substack waves. I wasn’t here with baby #1, and I’m hopeful that adding these more meaningful insights and community interactions alongside local friends will totally change the experience of those advice seeking moments you desire.
All that’s to say thanks!
Welcome back, Rachel! I hope you are doing well adjusting to life with two. I am not caught up on all of your latest, but I am so glad I chose this as my piece to read while eating breakfast at 9:45 even though I have been up for three and a half hours! So much of this resonated with me down to the copy of "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen" that is half-perused on my nightstand too. Along with "Simplicity Parenting," "Good Inside," "Good Anxiety," "The Complete Guide to the Enneagram"...I could go on. I have an approach similar to you - I take what I like from the buffet and leave what I don't BUT sometimes my struggle is consistency. AND I love how you are trying this approach on yourself. Mine would be - coffee is not for empty stomachs. Also, I should note that people do spend a lot of money to put avocados in your hair so maybe your son is on to something...
This language resonates a lot. I think it’ll help me too, being that I’m one of those people who isn’t very nice to herself all the time.
I love this! It's so refreshing when you realize not all the advice from our parents (or grandparents!) wasn't completely outdated . Thanks for sharing!
Always enjoy the defence of old-school parenting. Not everything needed to be thrown out with the bath water. Annoyingly, so many teachers and parents misunderstand authoritative as authoritarian and therefore won't enforce any boundaries at all!
I recently took a play therapy inspired course called Language of Listening that utilized this same framework, and it’s been great for our girls. Love the insight about turning the tables and using the same phrasing for ourselves.
Oh I love this simple phrase ... for kids, for ourselves. <3 <3
sooo enjoyed this... :)
I love this idea!
I really enjoyed reading this and immediately remembered overhearing another mom use this phrasing with her toddler at a coffee shop last year. I currently have a 5 year old who is yelling and an almost 2 year old who is biting, so.....time to switch it up!