I “jog” at a pace that barely surpasses the speed of walking. It is tempting to imagine that I could be always improving at everything, but delusional.
Personally I am not interested in getting better at Sudoku. I stick to the medium level and can even do most of the hard ones. The more challenging ones? Can't figure 'em out. I get stuck for hours. I know there are methods of solving them, and I'm sure I could watch some YouTube videos and learn those methods. But I don't care to! I'm a medium Sudoku puzzler and that's fine with me.
Sodoku is more like something to get really good at during a long prison sentence. If I end up in prison (the chances are low but never zero), I’ll rewrite my bucket list. I’ll do bonsai, learn to read ancient Sumerian, master 4D chess, memorize the Bible, the Quran, the Bagavad Gita, the Book of Mormon, and the US tax code. If I get tv privileges, I’ll watch Brazilian soap operas.
No one in the US seems to know anything about Brazilian soap operas, or even professional wrestling, compared to every other country in the world. Professional wrestling is totally real in many parts of the world.
Yes! I do Sudoku the way some people use adult coloring books--I do it to relax! I don't want to get all stressed out trying to challenge myself. It's an unwind, not a wind-up! (for me at least)
I’d love to be one of those gardeners who so casually produce enough tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers and squash to feed an entire neighborhood, all on a postage-sized piece of land with clay soil. But I have too much shade for vegetables and for most other plants. Big trees suck up moisture. I’ve tried Aerogardens and grow lights indoors. No success. That’s fine. I’ve decided that grocery stores are a better option.
After 5 years, I have also come to this conclusion. 2024 I’m only planting flower pots and I’m so relieved I don’t have to battle the bugs and the heat this summer.
I LOVE THIS! This is the type of runner I was 10 years ago. I called myself a turtle trotter. I enjoyed my little trots until Hubby decided to make it his hobby too. He ran like a deer. Lean, long, graceful strides. When we’d get to our running spot, he’d give me a few minutes head start & then lap me going out & of course lap me on the way back in as well. 🤣
It became not quite as fun when he joined. Then we trained for & ran a half marathon together. He pushed me beyond my limits during the half & I collapsed a few feet shy of the finish line. It was embarrassing. Medics came & threatened to take me to hospital, but instead gave me an IV right there on the ground which juiced me up enough to at least walk back to our car. I didn’t run much after that, but I’m feeling an urge to start again. Hubby says his knees won’t be able to do it anymore, so I’ll be able to continue my turtle trotting in peace. No time or distance goals. No 5Ks or half marathons. Just the goal to get out & do it!
Super relatable, this piece. My needle crafts fit this bill. I could be faster, I could be more precise, I could get the better materials and try more complicated designs. But I’m enjoying taking my time, making my own wool roving from yarn to save money (and also, wow the satisfaction that I did it ALL). I’m enjoying the simplistic poofs and basic shapes that look like cotton candy and not having to learn or watch videos or take classes, just going with my gut.
This is a great question, and I'm struggling to think of something I don't try to improve at. It really shines a light on how much striving there is! I will take that question into my day and challenge myself to extend that permission to myself somewhere in my life 🤔
The thing I am not very good at and don't care if I improve is art, doodling around with a paintbrush on canvas to be specific. I tell myself 'there is no such thing as bad art'🤣
I love this, Donna! I think not improving at your 'bad' art implies there's something in it for you other than the end aesthetic result, which is kind of the whole point of not getting better at something - the result doesn't matter as much as the process. How exciting!
I feel like I never paint because I don't have a setup for it, or maybe the thought of washing brushes makes it too high maintenance of a hobby for me. Do you have a designated painting table or area? How often to you paint/doodle?
@Erin Shetron, you weren’t asking me but I paint (watercolor) on a laptop table sitting in bed. I have a rolling cart with lots of art supplies. Over time, I’ve figured out a few ways to make it easier...and since my attention span is non-existent, it’s convenient enough that I do it despite the likelihood I might only end up painting for 5 minutes. The most helpful have been keeping a water bottle full (just a recycled plastic one...anything with a top to avoiding spills) and having a container to dump out dirty water so I’m not constantly running back and forth to the kitchen or bathroom.
I agree Erin, the only thing in it for me is fun! And you’re right that it’s a bit labour intensive (haha, that brings Rachel to mind, she will soon be having an intensive labour!) getting set up and I don’t have a space for it. With trying to write more often I don’t pull out the paints too much these days but that’s ok.
I think folks who can draw a cartoon have magic dust sprinkled in them, even stick men, crap cartoons. Telling a story through pictures is a gift. Well done Jane!
Is it weird to say I’m not trying to get better at Substack? All these classes and posts about “boosting subscribers” and “increasing conversion” and “how I make $20k per month on Substack” feel weirdly MLMy to me and it turns me off. I’m just grateful to have a writing platform where I can make money and keep my readers in the loop.
And it reminds me a bit of the Peter Principle in business, where truly smart people recognise that the best thing for their soul is to fight that urgent pressure to upgrade or be upgraded (eg. the brilliant and happy factory-floor artisan that becomes a miserable tuned-out manager): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_principle How hasty we're taught to be to stop enjoying what we already have. How daft it all is.
Re. running so slow it's almost but not quite walking, I think you'll enjoy this short thing from writer & ultrarunner Brendan Leonard: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcUKywimKqM
The only upgrade in life worth fighting for is from the middle seat in the last row of economy class to at least business but preferably first class on a non-stop flight from London to Sydney.
Nearly two decades ago I decided, after taking a level 2 yoga class, that I was never going to go above the level 1 yoga class. Because in the level 2 it seemed like people were striving to be the best at yoga, which is fine if that works for them, but I wasn't there for that...I was there to de-stress and decompress. Yet suddenly that competitive part of me seemed to wake up and said maybe I should be trying to level up too, and I realized I was going to lose the whole reason yoga worked for me. Now when someone hears I've been going for that long, they think I must be really advanced, but nope...I'm a comfortable level 1 student and that's exactly where I need to be.
Heather, me too! I have been doing yoga every morning since the pandemic (well, most mornings). I do it at home over video chat with my closest friend, guided by a randomly selected YouTube video for anywhere between 10 and 30 minutes, and then I go about my day. No one sees me (except maybe Jessica, but I'm tiny on her screen), I don't push myself very hard, and I love it. I've gradually gotten a bit more flexible, a bit more balanced, but no big dramatic changes. That's years of daily practice only to be marginally better than I was when I started. But between you and me and everyone else in this comment thread, it's one of the things I'm most proud of. Not because I'm good at it, but because I found something I like doing and I've managed to keep doing it.
Since my obsession with self-improvement, I have read a lot of books on that. For the past 2 months, I have been feeling meh with that and optimizing for EVERYTHING.
Why can’t I just do the thing (writing, workout, other hobbies) for the sake of the pleasure and process?
All the motivational videos are talking about you need to give your all (in everything)? I was watching Gary Vaynerchuk’s videos (16 hours day, hub?)
Then I just stop hustling that hard because I am tired and burned out.
I love this hymn of support for life in the slow lane! and good luck!
I'm slow and bad at ironing clothes (which I still occasionally do). But it doesn't matter. I put on the headphones, crank up the Wagner and slowly do a just-about-good-enough job. Nobody much will notice a few creases anyway. And W's operas last a very long time, time enough for me to get a few shirts done...
I keep finding there are lots of things I enjoy doing that I'll just get better at naturally, without any striving. I'll strive if I have to, but just repetition and coming back to something seems to lead to better results without the strife. (Is "striving" from "strife"?) This is true of handwriting and houseplants, drawing and drumming. It's okay to be a delittante! And the more I delittante around, the more various skills start to overlap and give me ideas and I just get better at stuff almost accidentally.
Also, I read somewhere once that people who start running usually get cardiovascular results pretty quickly, followed by muscle strength, and then a lot of people just GO HARD and get injured. But if you keep at it slowly, being slow and bad, it is being good: you build up bone strength and your skeleton itself thanks you.
Happy maternity leave! Thank you for what you do and for what you're doing for the new human!
Wtf I love everything about this comment. Yes to letting yourself naturally get kinda better at something you like doing by just doing it! Without strife or striving, which I think are different. I also did not know the word dilettante until now, thank you for that gem. And your comment about improved cardio, muscle, and bone health (we don't need sources, sounds believable enough to me) might just do the trick to get me turtle trotting again. Credit to Becki Clifton for that phrase - why can't we tag people in comments yet??
A few months postpartum I started going to a cardio dance class. Just to move my body. I was bad. I turned left when everyone turned right. I couldn’t get the steps down. I never got much better. I didn’t care.
Personally I am not interested in getting better at Sudoku. I stick to the medium level and can even do most of the hard ones. The more challenging ones? Can't figure 'em out. I get stuck for hours. I know there are methods of solving them, and I'm sure I could watch some YouTube videos and learn those methods. But I don't care to! I'm a medium Sudoku puzzler and that's fine with me.
Sodoku is more like something to get really good at during a long prison sentence. If I end up in prison (the chances are low but never zero), I’ll rewrite my bucket list. I’ll do bonsai, learn to read ancient Sumerian, master 4D chess, memorize the Bible, the Quran, the Bagavad Gita, the Book of Mormon, and the US tax code. If I get tv privileges, I’ll watch Brazilian soap operas.
I like how in Brazillian soap operas you do need a relationship map to keep track of things
No one in the US seems to know anything about Brazilian soap operas, or even professional wrestling, compared to every other country in the world. Professional wrestling is totally real in many parts of the world.
I’m with you on this!
I’m all about using hints!
Yes! I do Sudoku the way some people use adult coloring books--I do it to relax! I don't want to get all stressed out trying to challenge myself. It's an unwind, not a wind-up! (for me at least)
You get it!
I’d love to be one of those gardeners who so casually produce enough tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers and squash to feed an entire neighborhood, all on a postage-sized piece of land with clay soil. But I have too much shade for vegetables and for most other plants. Big trees suck up moisture. I’ve tried Aerogardens and grow lights indoors. No success. That’s fine. I’ve decided that grocery stores are a better option.
After 5 years, I have also come to this conclusion. 2024 I’m only planting flower pots and I’m so relieved I don’t have to battle the bugs and the heat this summer.
I think I ate my six pea pods straight from the plant this summer! Still fun watching them progress tho
I LOVE THIS! This is the type of runner I was 10 years ago. I called myself a turtle trotter. I enjoyed my little trots until Hubby decided to make it his hobby too. He ran like a deer. Lean, long, graceful strides. When we’d get to our running spot, he’d give me a few minutes head start & then lap me going out & of course lap me on the way back in as well. 🤣
It became not quite as fun when he joined. Then we trained for & ran a half marathon together. He pushed me beyond my limits during the half & I collapsed a few feet shy of the finish line. It was embarrassing. Medics came & threatened to take me to hospital, but instead gave me an IV right there on the ground which juiced me up enough to at least walk back to our car. I didn’t run much after that, but I’m feeling an urge to start again. Hubby says his knees won’t be able to do it anymore, so I’ll be able to continue my turtle trotting in peace. No time or distance goals. No 5Ks or half marathons. Just the goal to get out & do it!
A turtle trotter!! I'm stealing that. And Becki, I fully support you telling your Hubby and his bad knees to let you trot in peace 😂 Sounds ideal!
I love this story, made me think of a wonderful shirt “Turtle Trotter, no its not deja vu you just passed me again”
Super relatable, this piece. My needle crafts fit this bill. I could be faster, I could be more precise, I could get the better materials and try more complicated designs. But I’m enjoying taking my time, making my own wool roving from yarn to save money (and also, wow the satisfaction that I did it ALL). I’m enjoying the simplistic poofs and basic shapes that look like cotton candy and not having to learn or watch videos or take classes, just going with my gut.
There's something so nice about knowing the videos and classes are out there and then just deciding what you're doing is good enough.
Well put! <3
This is a great question, and I'm struggling to think of something I don't try to improve at. It really shines a light on how much striving there is! I will take that question into my day and challenge myself to extend that permission to myself somewhere in my life 🤔
I'm curious to see if anything comes to you!
Same here! I have managed to try and optimize for everything. 2024 would be the year I figure that out!
Congrats on your mat leave!!! That is so awesome.
The thing I am not very good at and don't care if I improve is art, doodling around with a paintbrush on canvas to be specific. I tell myself 'there is no such thing as bad art'🤣
I love this, Donna! I think not improving at your 'bad' art implies there's something in it for you other than the end aesthetic result, which is kind of the whole point of not getting better at something - the result doesn't matter as much as the process. How exciting!
I feel like I never paint because I don't have a setup for it, or maybe the thought of washing brushes makes it too high maintenance of a hobby for me. Do you have a designated painting table or area? How often to you paint/doodle?
@Erin Shetron, you weren’t asking me but I paint (watercolor) on a laptop table sitting in bed. I have a rolling cart with lots of art supplies. Over time, I’ve figured out a few ways to make it easier...and since my attention span is non-existent, it’s convenient enough that I do it despite the likelihood I might only end up painting for 5 minutes. The most helpful have been keeping a water bottle full (just a recycled plastic one...anything with a top to avoiding spills) and having a container to dump out dirty water so I’m not constantly running back and forth to the kitchen or bathroom.
Rachel this is brilliant!
Thanks. I learn by doing...or not doing because of inconvenience. 😂
I agree Erin, the only thing in it for me is fun! And you’re right that it’s a bit labour intensive (haha, that brings Rachel to mind, she will soon be having an intensive labour!) getting set up and I don’t have a space for it. With trying to write more often I don’t pull out the paints too much these days but that’s ok.
I’ve recently rediscovered drawing - love scribbling out a crap cartoon.
I think folks who can draw a cartoon have magic dust sprinkled in them, even stick men, crap cartoons. Telling a story through pictures is a gift. Well done Jane!
Is it weird to say I’m not trying to get better at Substack? All these classes and posts about “boosting subscribers” and “increasing conversion” and “how I make $20k per month on Substack” feel weirdly MLMy to me and it turns me off. I’m just grateful to have a writing platform where I can make money and keep my readers in the loop.
Karaoke. However, Karaoke is the “upside down” of talent where bad is really awesome.
Such a great piece!! Hope all goes well with the baby and we will see you on the “mother “ side. See what I did there? Not bad for a doctor right ?
I love this and agree so hard.
And it reminds me a bit of the Peter Principle in business, where truly smart people recognise that the best thing for their soul is to fight that urgent pressure to upgrade or be upgraded (eg. the brilliant and happy factory-floor artisan that becomes a miserable tuned-out manager): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_principle How hasty we're taught to be to stop enjoying what we already have. How daft it all is.
Re. running so slow it's almost but not quite walking, I think you'll enjoy this short thing from writer & ultrarunner Brendan Leonard: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcUKywimKqM
The only upgrade in life worth fighting for is from the middle seat in the last row of economy class to at least business but preferably first class on a non-stop flight from London to Sydney.
Nearly two decades ago I decided, after taking a level 2 yoga class, that I was never going to go above the level 1 yoga class. Because in the level 2 it seemed like people were striving to be the best at yoga, which is fine if that works for them, but I wasn't there for that...I was there to de-stress and decompress. Yet suddenly that competitive part of me seemed to wake up and said maybe I should be trying to level up too, and I realized I was going to lose the whole reason yoga worked for me. Now when someone hears I've been going for that long, they think I must be really advanced, but nope...I'm a comfortable level 1 student and that's exactly where I need to be.
Heather, me too! I have been doing yoga every morning since the pandemic (well, most mornings). I do it at home over video chat with my closest friend, guided by a randomly selected YouTube video for anywhere between 10 and 30 minutes, and then I go about my day. No one sees me (except maybe Jessica, but I'm tiny on her screen), I don't push myself very hard, and I love it. I've gradually gotten a bit more flexible, a bit more balanced, but no big dramatic changes. That's years of daily practice only to be marginally better than I was when I started. But between you and me and everyone else in this comment thread, it's one of the things I'm most proud of. Not because I'm good at it, but because I found something I like doing and I've managed to keep doing it.
Since my obsession with self-improvement, I have read a lot of books on that. For the past 2 months, I have been feeling meh with that and optimizing for EVERYTHING.
Why can’t I just do the thing (writing, workout, other hobbies) for the sake of the pleasure and process?
All the motivational videos are talking about you need to give your all (in everything)? I was watching Gary Vaynerchuk’s videos (16 hours day, hub?)
Then I just stop hustling that hard because I am tired and burned out.
2024 would be interesting with this in mind.
I love this hymn of support for life in the slow lane! and good luck!
I'm slow and bad at ironing clothes (which I still occasionally do). But it doesn't matter. I put on the headphones, crank up the Wagner and slowly do a just-about-good-enough job. Nobody much will notice a few creases anyway. And W's operas last a very long time, time enough for me to get a few shirts done...
This is such a great hack, I listen to my podcasts while doing dishes and cleaning the house. It turns a chore into a kind of entertainment.
So yes we might see “Shirt Ironing Simulator” next year on pc
I keep finding there are lots of things I enjoy doing that I'll just get better at naturally, without any striving. I'll strive if I have to, but just repetition and coming back to something seems to lead to better results without the strife. (Is "striving" from "strife"?) This is true of handwriting and houseplants, drawing and drumming. It's okay to be a delittante! And the more I delittante around, the more various skills start to overlap and give me ideas and I just get better at stuff almost accidentally.
Also, I read somewhere once that people who start running usually get cardiovascular results pretty quickly, followed by muscle strength, and then a lot of people just GO HARD and get injured. But if you keep at it slowly, being slow and bad, it is being good: you build up bone strength and your skeleton itself thanks you.
Happy maternity leave! Thank you for what you do and for what you're doing for the new human!
Wtf I love everything about this comment. Yes to letting yourself naturally get kinda better at something you like doing by just doing it! Without strife or striving, which I think are different. I also did not know the word dilettante until now, thank you for that gem. And your comment about improved cardio, muscle, and bone health (we don't need sources, sounds believable enough to me) might just do the trick to get me turtle trotting again. Credit to Becki Clifton for that phrase - why can't we tag people in comments yet??
Skiing ! Haha I don’t want to go to intermediate
A few months postpartum I started going to a cardio dance class. Just to move my body. I was bad. I turned left when everyone turned right. I couldn’t get the steps down. I never got much better. I didn’t care.
It’s interesting to me you say that you were bad at it when I’m impressed you got there and enjoyed it. That doesn’t sound bad at all😊