i admire your honesty about it 🤍 i love to read, but i also share the same frustration about reading slowly. at some point i even wondered if there is some kind of measurement, like i have to read xxx number of books before i can consider myself a writer or before i could write and identify myself with it. but that was before. soon enough, i've grown to accept it, and even love it about my reader self. even though reading slow means i might miss out on a lot of books i could read in my entire life if only i read fast, i simply accept the fact that i won't be able to read everything anyway. the thought gives me comfort. i honestly think the world is fast enough and i don't always need to keep up. i read whenever i want for as long as i want to, and as slow as i need to. :)
Love your acceptance of your slow reading! I'm still working on that. I totally agree that the world is fast enough. I like to think that because I read slowly I absorb more...though I'm not sure that's actually true :)
Relating to this so hard as a "not-writer" who has started to write and is struggling to self-identify as a writer. I always felt like I didn't have the right to be a writer - truly never even considered it - because I hadn't passionately nursed the dream TO WRITE. But then I suddenly had a story I wanted to share, and writing a memoir seemed like a good way to do that. So I took a memoir class to get started and then cringed every time the instructor stressed the importance of reading, reading, reading and especially reading memoirs. (I probably averaged a book a year - maybe.)
I braced myself when it finally came time to share my first chapter, and my instructor immediately remarked that it was probably as strong as it was even though it was my first written work as a memoirist, because of ALL THE READING I had done. LOL!
Net: I have come to see writing as the means to my desired end, which is to share my story in a way that will help others. The reading, the crafting, and ultimately the written work are all just in service of that goal. Or at least that's what's currently keeping my writer imposter syndrome at bay!
LOL I love that the instructor projected that belief about reading right onto your work! That's priceless. And it's so encouraging to hear that you are just settling into your own style. For SURE there are well-known writers out there who aren't "good readers"...seems like they just keep quiet about it :)
I think that avid reading and excellent writing sometimes end up being at odds. Reading in order to feed and broaden a personal writing practice (or reading to research) is a different sort of reading from simply reading to be lost in a story other than your own. And I also think it's possible for those of us who nurse dreams of writing to easily fall into the trap of not having enough lived or fully absorbed experience from which to write. Reminds me of an essay by E.B. White that I read in high school, in which he said anyone who wants to be a writer should live life until age forty and THEN begin to write, not invent things just for the sake of putting words on paper. Talk about a reality check!
Fascinating take, thanks Jan! There is also the element of being intimidated by reading other writers who are doing similar things to what you want to do, and perhaps have a lot more practice and are quite skilled. That can definitely be paralyzing.
Love White's idea that living is actually the key input for writing.
I didn't write anything personal until I was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, and it became a mechanism for me to understand WTF was happening to me. Thinking of writing as a diagnostic tool somehow helped me to feel like writing was less lofty / more like I can do it!
Its so weird. We don’t stop kids from kicking a football or dribbling a basketball because they probably won’t go pro with it, but when it comes to the arts the message is that wanting to do it for personal reasons is, somehow, frivolous. Even though the equipment costs next to nothing and noone needs to sit on cold bleachers. Stage 4 is a sh**y diagnosis, I hope the writing helps and you have good support.
Love this about reading vs life experience. Yes. Which is why I tend to be more or less anti-MFA. Want to be a serious writer? Skip the MFA and go live in Manhattan, struggling and learning. Or travel the world on $15/day. Or work manual labor. Experience stuff!!
Yes. I loved this piece. I have thousands of books. I get more books from the library. I have diaries I've written I also want to read... I'm inundated with content, others and mine. Office Hours are tough, because I'm always attracted off the hours and into someone or many someone's content... like a glutton who can never get enough, but when it's time to settle down and really read, the brain goes out the window or picks up the phone instead. Happened last night. As far as calling myself a writer, I've been calling myself a writer for decades because there was never anything else I wanted to do, plus, I actually write every day. Maybe not for public consumption, but because it's how I process my life. I do love that I can find a day long ago and discover what happened that day. I ask myself when certain things happened, and by some strange synchronicity, the next week I'm led right to the answer. I don't have it down what of mine I really want to put out there. I'm a writer, but I'm not a promoter. I'm not a sales person. I don't market my stuff either, and as for money, I learned how to limit my needs so I could focus on time more than money. No one is interested in that!
Reading is as necessary as food to me. I used to read two books a day, and was secretly proud of my speed. I'm older now, and find that with books, as with food, I don't take on too much at once anymore. Reading more slowly opens up nuances in the author's intention that I wouldn't have noticed before. I read with deeper understanding now that I'm not galloping through the pages. I enjoy going back and re-reading a paragraph, to get more out of it. I now think that speed-reading is a waste of energy, unless you have a photographic memory you can use for review. Savor what you read. Anything you read will stay knocking around in your head, anyway.
I love this. I find that speed reading has its place (like when there's a time constraint and a level of information requires understanding). but reading for pleasure can be luxuriously slow! (and I love to re-read my favorite books, not just "consume" new ones! )
I used to slink off when someone would say “Don’t trust a writer who writes more than they read.” It’s wholly unfair for young children, especially, who may need writing as a therapeutic or coping mechanism. I wrote voraciously as a child because speaking up got me in too much trouble. But reading was like chasing down wild horses and trying to get them to stand in a line.
It took me yearssssss to accept that being a slow reader is actually what makes me a good editor. I’m not trying to prove how fast I can digest and puke out edits. Slow reading means I give writing a chance to prove its potential. 🤷🏻♀️
ALSO, just throwing this out there ... fast, voracious reading assumes that your sense of vision is the ONLY worthwhile human mechanism for absorbing information and details.
That's so fascinating and I never thought of it--slow and careful reading actually has a career attached to it...editing!
Your point about vision versus other senses is really interesting, and relates to another comment in this thread about how actually LIVING is the most important input to writing. I think that definitely different senses can be primary for different people, and they can all result in good art. Thought it's easier to say that than to actually believe it sometimes.
Unsolicited Suggestions from a fellow writer/editor/rhetoric and composition professor:
Audiobooks? Even summary services like Blinkist and the study websites the kids are using lol? Podcasts? Research assistants?
I think there are a lot of ways to get facts you need aside from slogging through something you're not into. Also, fwiw, it seems like a disproportionate number of writers have dyslexia or other learning disabilities. A different relationship to the work can often lead to especially fresh work.
I'd also recommend the book Breakthrough Rapid Reading--it made a difference for me in speed and confidence. Maybe even How to Read Literature Like a Professor. Also any of Cal Newport's work. His "How to Become a Straight-A Student" would be useful for this issue. I read it long after being a student. (I don't think it's his best work -- Deep Work is a lot more interesting -- but for this issue, the Straight A one would prob be more useful.)
Thanks for the tips! I do like audiobooks for enjoyment, though if I'm reading something to inform my writing I find that I need to take notes and underline on the pages in order to absorb the information.
I'll need to think on the speed reading resources. I am curious about them, and also hesitant. In so many parts of my life I am constantly trying to improve, and I've been trying to consider what it would be like to just say, "actually, I'm good enough." Your idea about reading cliff notes is very interesting...it seems like cheating, but also like something that could be really helpful for me!
Lover of reading here, but the idea of disconnecting from the origin story you've built for yourself (or had built around you) resonates. It feels too easy sometimes to pick up an identity that can never be shed!
I love this piece. I have loved reading but only started writing after retirement. I look to people who have been writing all their lives and wonder how I missed the activity. I wish i had written as much as I have read over the years. But my motto is: it's never too late and I'm never too old.
I love your motto. It's relevant for all of us I think, because at every stage of life it's easy to feel too old to start something, especially creative pursuits. Then ten years later you realize that actually if you had started back then you would have been doing the thing for ten years already!
I'm a terribly slow reader too; my mind wanders all the time while reading, and I always have to go back and read the paragraphs again. I'm terribly self-conscious and even feel ashamed that it means something about my intelligence and/or capability. Thank you for your vulnerability - it's been healing.
P.S. As I was reading your essay, I was thinking that you're destined to start a women's health start-up. How perfect an origin story you'd have and already an audience to accelerate your first product launch :)
I am DEFINITELY also prone to generalizing--if I'm a slow reader, I am also an uninformed person, and therefore also a bad person and a waste of space. This is a classic pessimist line of thinking...sigh.
And geez, Naveed, don't egg me on...I am constantly pushing that thought out of my mind 😉
Oh man. Thanks for this. It resonates greatly. I am a writer who maybe has some dyslexia or maybe just hasn’t read enough in my life to make me fast. I am an AVID learner...who rarely finishes informative books. How? Why? Is this inextricably shameful? Maybe no. Thanks for naming these experiences and breathing life into alternative solutions and narratives. Sincerely, thank you.
I totally hear you about the shame! I have long felt ashamed of my meager annual book count (not that I actually count, that would be too painful, but it feels very small). But if I've learned anything as a writer, it's that the things I'm ashamed of often prove the most rich and interesting...and also tend to resonate most with other people! I can only conclude that these seemingly unique shames are just super common :)
Thank you for sharing this story Rae. We all like what we like. Just because I love reading doesn’t mean I expect everyone else to as well - nor do I love reading ‘everything’. (Noone can read everything & not everything published is worth our attention.)
We all bring to our art different experiences & skills. That is why our individual voices matter.
So true that we all bring something different to our art, and I think that's a danger of over-focusing on tips from great writers and things like that. The idea is to take what works for you, not to copy someone else. But it's pretty hard to remember that when you're just starting out and someone else seems like they've really nailed it.
To borrow a theatre metaphor, we judge everybody’s best front of house against our own backstage, mostly because that’s what we have access to. You were recently featured on substack and that partly came from engaged readers who recommended you, which I have the good (non-corrosive) envy about, me with my 50+ subscribers.
And yes, everybody has their own best practice, which is whatever makes the words come, preferably with joyful abandon. These days I read writerly advice not as prescriptions but as a menu I may wish to select from. And like a menu, I may try something and decode its not for me & choose something else next time.
I relate to this a lot, especially being slow at reading (even though I was very fast as a kid, go figure) and feeling like I had to meet this idea of "being a writer." I wanted to write a Great Novel, but I wrote My Novel and then put it in a drawer. I didn't really need the world to see it. Thanks for sharing this.
For 30 seconds I was appalled but only because reading is like air over here. I’d rather read than sleep, eat, converse with humanity, clean, work or run errands! It’s basically my career although I’m not paid to do it 🤣🤣👎🏼👎🏼. Then I became utterly fascinated because I too have heard many of those quotes and have assumed that writers are readers! I love that you’re turning that assumption on its head because clearly you ARE a writer and a very good one!! I like your brain waves.
I also love the statement about finding what works for YOU and just find it to be such a great mindset for all of us in so many areas!! Cheering you on in finding your preferred reading rhythm!!
Also WHAT?!!!! I’m DYING to read this odyssey of Chinese truck drivers with their American sidekick!! I’m intrigued!! This coupled with Jacks class... c’mon man! Your life is astounding!!!
Thanks Natasha! I love that I appalled you...I deem that a success 😂.
Thanks for cheering me one! A writer ALWAYS needs that. And I appreciate your interest in my China story...maybe someday I'll return to it. It was totally wild and fascinating and complex. Maybe I just need another decade of distance before I'm ready :)
There is a depth in the reflection that I see when I look into your mirror that my mirror does not reveal. It is the richness you have lived, not the notches in your library card from which the bright light of your work emanates. May it shine! I'll bet a hot memoire about your frustration about the China adventure would be interesting. Sounds like a fertilizing chapter in your life. Be well.
I love the phrase "a fertilizing chapter in your life." I will remember that. There are so many periods in life that don't feel in the moment like they really amount to anything, but later you realize that they shaped you in some fundamental way.
Yeah, it reminds me of Vonneguts terms karass as opposed to grandfaloon. The people in your life who may only brush past once, but are in some way cosmically significant as opposed to people like family with whom you may share your whole life, but are not significant in quite the same sense. "Cat's Cradle," I think. (No cat, no cradle.)
This piece really resonated with me, Rae! I am one of those writers who says things like, "good writers are good readers." But that's something of a meme, and a lot of good information gets lost when we reduce down to the meme.
For one thing, there are good writers who don't read much. Walter Mosley, one of my favorite novelists, has said in interviews that he doesn't read other authors because he doesn't want their voices in his head. I think there's something to that. When I write fiction, I tend to stay away from reading fiction. And if I do read fiction, it's never the genre I'm writing in. I hear this a lot from writer friends. Most of my writer friends are screenwriters, and most of them write comedy, but when they sit down to read a book, they rarely pick a funny book. As one comedy writer friend told me, "I need to decompress from work, so I read the darkest crime fiction and horror I can find."
Of course, there's a lot to be said for familiarizing yourself with works in your chosen writing area. You learn a lot about structure, craft, and tone. You can also learn a lot about what readers look for when they read that kind of work, and that should inform how you think about the business of your writing.
But I think the personal lessons that come from reading are what matter most here. I used to be a screenwriter, and I was pretty miserable, tbh. The thing that helped me see that misery, though, was how I thought about reading screenplays. I started out as a screenwriter who was interested in reading scripts, but never passionate. Slowly at first, then quickly, my interest in reading screenplays went to zero. I kept writing screenplays, though. And I kept rewriting my screenplays, which also involves a lot of reading of screenplays. I kept telling myself that I did have a passion for reading, and that was true, but it wasn't the truth when it came to screenplays. At some point, though, I got honest with myself. Instead of pushing myself to read scripts I didn't want to read, I gave myself permission to not read them. Slowly at first, then quickly, I realized that I wasn't really passionate about reading screenplays, or writing them. But, and I think this is the important part, the passion for that type of writing (or in my case, lack of passion) showed up more in my reading than my writing. In other words, how I felt about reading screenplays ultimately told me what I needed to know about my own screenwriting.
As it turned out, I didn't feel the same way about fiction or personal essays. I have a lot of passion for reading fiction and personal essays, and that passion also shows up in my work. Am I a better writer because I'm well read in the areas I chose to write in? Yes, I think so. But I think what's more important is that I understand my passion. Because if I'm really passionate about something, I'll keep at it long past the point where a reasonable, sensible person would quit.
One more thing. There's nothing wrong with being a slow reader! I've made my living as a writer for 20-plus years, and people are always surprised when I tell them that I struggled to learn to read (eye issues and learning disabilities), and that I *still* struggle.
OK, I'm rambled on enough here. Thanks for this piece! I'm not a subscriber, even though I should've subscribed back when Alex Dobrenko told me too :)
Hey Michael! First of all that's hilarious that your friend reads the "darkest horror" he can find to decompress 😂
I really like your thoughts on how noticing what you like to read has informed what you write. It reminds me of the idea that you should pay attention to what you're jealous of, because it's a good indicator of what you want. I agree that the genres I like to read most (personal essays and memoir) align with what I like to write most. My whole endeavor with the China book was oriented around a more journalistic genre which I don't love as much.
Love that you are a slow reader and still love reading! Hoping I can get there...maybe it's just a matter of letting go of the nagging guilt that I should be reading faster.
My mom and her sisters were all avid readers. Then my middle sister. For me, it's hot and cold. If i get into what I'm reading, I continue- non-sleep and all until I'm done. I can stay up all night to re-read To Kill a Mockingbird. Don Winslow's latest is taking me forever. Your essays- I can't get enough of them. I have also created novels in my head but to put them on paper scares the shit out of me.
Totally know what you mean about hot and cold. Unfortunately for me, the "hot" is pretty rare, and when it happens, I'm like: "oooooh, this is what everyone's talking about" 😂
The way I approach a longer project, to start, is in 20 minute daily chunks. Twenty minutes of low-pressure writing, not from the beginning of the book or project, just whatever strikes that day. In my mind I'm always thinking, "this is just scratch, I will edit this heavily later," and that helps take the pressure off. Not sure if that will resonate with you, but putting it out there in case!
i admire your honesty about it 🤍 i love to read, but i also share the same frustration about reading slowly. at some point i even wondered if there is some kind of measurement, like i have to read xxx number of books before i can consider myself a writer or before i could write and identify myself with it. but that was before. soon enough, i've grown to accept it, and even love it about my reader self. even though reading slow means i might miss out on a lot of books i could read in my entire life if only i read fast, i simply accept the fact that i won't be able to read everything anyway. the thought gives me comfort. i honestly think the world is fast enough and i don't always need to keep up. i read whenever i want for as long as i want to, and as slow as i need to. :)
Love your acceptance of your slow reading! I'm still working on that. I totally agree that the world is fast enough. I like to think that because I read slowly I absorb more...though I'm not sure that's actually true :)
Relating to this so hard as a "not-writer" who has started to write and is struggling to self-identify as a writer. I always felt like I didn't have the right to be a writer - truly never even considered it - because I hadn't passionately nursed the dream TO WRITE. But then I suddenly had a story I wanted to share, and writing a memoir seemed like a good way to do that. So I took a memoir class to get started and then cringed every time the instructor stressed the importance of reading, reading, reading and especially reading memoirs. (I probably averaged a book a year - maybe.)
I braced myself when it finally came time to share my first chapter, and my instructor immediately remarked that it was probably as strong as it was even though it was my first written work as a memoirist, because of ALL THE READING I had done. LOL!
Net: I have come to see writing as the means to my desired end, which is to share my story in a way that will help others. The reading, the crafting, and ultimately the written work are all just in service of that goal. Or at least that's what's currently keeping my writer imposter syndrome at bay!
LOL I love that the instructor projected that belief about reading right onto your work! That's priceless. And it's so encouraging to hear that you are just settling into your own style. For SURE there are well-known writers out there who aren't "good readers"...seems like they just keep quiet about it :)
I think that avid reading and excellent writing sometimes end up being at odds. Reading in order to feed and broaden a personal writing practice (or reading to research) is a different sort of reading from simply reading to be lost in a story other than your own. And I also think it's possible for those of us who nurse dreams of writing to easily fall into the trap of not having enough lived or fully absorbed experience from which to write. Reminds me of an essay by E.B. White that I read in high school, in which he said anyone who wants to be a writer should live life until age forty and THEN begin to write, not invent things just for the sake of putting words on paper. Talk about a reality check!
Fascinating take, thanks Jan! There is also the element of being intimidated by reading other writers who are doing similar things to what you want to do, and perhaps have a lot more practice and are quite skilled. That can definitely be paralyzing.
Love White's idea that living is actually the key input for writing.
Oh, I love that.
I didn't write anything personal until I was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, and it became a mechanism for me to understand WTF was happening to me. Thinking of writing as a diagnostic tool somehow helped me to feel like writing was less lofty / more like I can do it!
Its so weird. We don’t stop kids from kicking a football or dribbling a basketball because they probably won’t go pro with it, but when it comes to the arts the message is that wanting to do it for personal reasons is, somehow, frivolous. Even though the equipment costs next to nothing and noone needs to sit on cold bleachers. Stage 4 is a sh**y diagnosis, I hope the writing helps and you have good support.
Such a good point. If casually shooting hoops makes sense to us, than casually writing poetry that will never be published should also.
The journey was brutal, but it also turned out to be the best worst thing to ever happen to me. I’m still mining the experience for insights!
I’ve read a couple of your posts and subscribed. We need stories of lived experience.
touche.
Love this about reading vs life experience. Yes. Which is why I tend to be more or less anti-MFA. Want to be a serious writer? Skip the MFA and go live in Manhattan, struggling and learning. Or travel the world on $15/day. Or work manual labor. Experience stuff!!
Genuine question I'm curious about. Does anyone necessarily *have* to "identify" as a writer? Or can one just write and be content?
Thoughts?
Number two.
Yes. I loved this piece. I have thousands of books. I get more books from the library. I have diaries I've written I also want to read... I'm inundated with content, others and mine. Office Hours are tough, because I'm always attracted off the hours and into someone or many someone's content... like a glutton who can never get enough, but when it's time to settle down and really read, the brain goes out the window or picks up the phone instead. Happened last night. As far as calling myself a writer, I've been calling myself a writer for decades because there was never anything else I wanted to do, plus, I actually write every day. Maybe not for public consumption, but because it's how I process my life. I do love that I can find a day long ago and discover what happened that day. I ask myself when certain things happened, and by some strange synchronicity, the next week I'm led right to the answer. I don't have it down what of mine I really want to put out there. I'm a writer, but I'm not a promoter. I'm not a sales person. I don't market my stuff either, and as for money, I learned how to limit my needs so I could focus on time more than money. No one is interested in that!
Reading is as necessary as food to me. I used to read two books a day, and was secretly proud of my speed. I'm older now, and find that with books, as with food, I don't take on too much at once anymore. Reading more slowly opens up nuances in the author's intention that I wouldn't have noticed before. I read with deeper understanding now that I'm not galloping through the pages. I enjoy going back and re-reading a paragraph, to get more out of it. I now think that speed-reading is a waste of energy, unless you have a photographic memory you can use for review. Savor what you read. Anything you read will stay knocking around in your head, anyway.
Mmm, this is a great positive framing for reading slowly--savoring versus "galloping," as you say.
I love this. I find that speed reading has its place (like when there's a time constraint and a level of information requires understanding). but reading for pleasure can be luxuriously slow! (and I love to re-read my favorite books, not just "consume" new ones! )
Two. books. a. day. I'm two pages a day.
I don't read like that anymore. Nowadays it's more like one book every two days, depending on life's demands.
Simply remarkable
Ditto on necessity. But: Two books a day???? What kinda books? Not Dostoevsky.... :)
I used to slink off when someone would say “Don’t trust a writer who writes more than they read.” It’s wholly unfair for young children, especially, who may need writing as a therapeutic or coping mechanism. I wrote voraciously as a child because speaking up got me in too much trouble. But reading was like chasing down wild horses and trying to get them to stand in a line.
It took me yearssssss to accept that being a slow reader is actually what makes me a good editor. I’m not trying to prove how fast I can digest and puke out edits. Slow reading means I give writing a chance to prove its potential. 🤷🏻♀️
ALSO, just throwing this out there ... fast, voracious reading assumes that your sense of vision is the ONLY worthwhile human mechanism for absorbing information and details.
That's so fascinating and I never thought of it--slow and careful reading actually has a career attached to it...editing!
Your point about vision versus other senses is really interesting, and relates to another comment in this thread about how actually LIVING is the most important input to writing. I think that definitely different senses can be primary for different people, and they can all result in good art. Thought it's easier to say that than to actually believe it sometimes.
Absolutely love this story! Note to self - you don't have to be anything just because other people expect it!
That could be the Mantra for Everything Over the Past 5 Years :)
Unsolicited Suggestions from a fellow writer/editor/rhetoric and composition professor:
Audiobooks? Even summary services like Blinkist and the study websites the kids are using lol? Podcasts? Research assistants?
I think there are a lot of ways to get facts you need aside from slogging through something you're not into. Also, fwiw, it seems like a disproportionate number of writers have dyslexia or other learning disabilities. A different relationship to the work can often lead to especially fresh work.
I'd also recommend the book Breakthrough Rapid Reading--it made a difference for me in speed and confidence. Maybe even How to Read Literature Like a Professor. Also any of Cal Newport's work. His "How to Become a Straight-A Student" would be useful for this issue. I read it long after being a student. (I don't think it's his best work -- Deep Work is a lot more interesting -- but for this issue, the Straight A one would prob be more useful.)
Thanks for the tips! I do like audiobooks for enjoyment, though if I'm reading something to inform my writing I find that I need to take notes and underline on the pages in order to absorb the information.
I'll need to think on the speed reading resources. I am curious about them, and also hesitant. In so many parts of my life I am constantly trying to improve, and I've been trying to consider what it would be like to just say, "actually, I'm good enough." Your idea about reading cliff notes is very interesting...it seems like cheating, but also like something that could be really helpful for me!
Yes! I read Audible books as well as physica books.
Michael a quick tip. Try listening to the audiobook, not reading them. At least I think that's the way it works. Now let me go drink some soup.
Yes. Listen. That’s of course what I meant.
My pitiful attempt at dry humor fell flat, as usual.
Lover of reading here, but the idea of disconnecting from the origin story you've built for yourself (or had built around you) resonates. It feels too easy sometimes to pick up an identity that can never be shed!
I'm glad it resonates! I'm sure we each have our own unique version of this...and I'm glad that for you it doesn't happen to be reading :)
I love this piece. I have loved reading but only started writing after retirement. I look to people who have been writing all their lives and wonder how I missed the activity. I wish i had written as much as I have read over the years. But my motto is: it's never too late and I'm never too old.
I love your motto. It's relevant for all of us I think, because at every stage of life it's easy to feel too old to start something, especially creative pursuits. Then ten years later you realize that actually if you had started back then you would have been doing the thing for ten years already!
I'm a terribly slow reader too; my mind wanders all the time while reading, and I always have to go back and read the paragraphs again. I'm terribly self-conscious and even feel ashamed that it means something about my intelligence and/or capability. Thank you for your vulnerability - it's been healing.
P.S. As I was reading your essay, I was thinking that you're destined to start a women's health start-up. How perfect an origin story you'd have and already an audience to accelerate your first product launch :)
I am DEFINITELY also prone to generalizing--if I'm a slow reader, I am also an uninformed person, and therefore also a bad person and a waste of space. This is a classic pessimist line of thinking...sigh.
And geez, Naveed, don't egg me on...I am constantly pushing that thought out of my mind 😉
Slow can be good. Very good.
Oh man. Thanks for this. It resonates greatly. I am a writer who maybe has some dyslexia or maybe just hasn’t read enough in my life to make me fast. I am an AVID learner...who rarely finishes informative books. How? Why? Is this inextricably shameful? Maybe no. Thanks for naming these experiences and breathing life into alternative solutions and narratives. Sincerely, thank you.
I totally hear you about the shame! I have long felt ashamed of my meager annual book count (not that I actually count, that would be too painful, but it feels very small). But if I've learned anything as a writer, it's that the things I'm ashamed of often prove the most rich and interesting...and also tend to resonate most with other people! I can only conclude that these seemingly unique shames are just super common :)
Thank you for sharing this story Rae. We all like what we like. Just because I love reading doesn’t mean I expect everyone else to as well - nor do I love reading ‘everything’. (Noone can read everything & not everything published is worth our attention.)
We all bring to our art different experiences & skills. That is why our individual voices matter.
So true that we all bring something different to our art, and I think that's a danger of over-focusing on tips from great writers and things like that. The idea is to take what works for you, not to copy someone else. But it's pretty hard to remember that when you're just starting out and someone else seems like they've really nailed it.
To borrow a theatre metaphor, we judge everybody’s best front of house against our own backstage, mostly because that’s what we have access to. You were recently featured on substack and that partly came from engaged readers who recommended you, which I have the good (non-corrosive) envy about, me with my 50+ subscribers.
And yes, everybody has their own best practice, which is whatever makes the words come, preferably with joyful abandon. These days I read writerly advice not as prescriptions but as a menu I may wish to select from. And like a menu, I may try something and decode its not for me & choose something else next time.
I relate to this a lot, especially being slow at reading (even though I was very fast as a kid, go figure) and feeling like I had to meet this idea of "being a writer." I wanted to write a Great Novel, but I wrote My Novel and then put it in a drawer. I didn't really need the world to see it. Thanks for sharing this.
Here here to having our books in drawers! In retrospect I really did get so much out of that project.
For 30 seconds I was appalled but only because reading is like air over here. I’d rather read than sleep, eat, converse with humanity, clean, work or run errands! It’s basically my career although I’m not paid to do it 🤣🤣👎🏼👎🏼. Then I became utterly fascinated because I too have heard many of those quotes and have assumed that writers are readers! I love that you’re turning that assumption on its head because clearly you ARE a writer and a very good one!! I like your brain waves.
I also love the statement about finding what works for YOU and just find it to be such a great mindset for all of us in so many areas!! Cheering you on in finding your preferred reading rhythm!!
Also WHAT?!!!! I’m DYING to read this odyssey of Chinese truck drivers with their American sidekick!! I’m intrigued!! This coupled with Jacks class... c’mon man! Your life is astounding!!!
Thanks Natasha! I love that I appalled you...I deem that a success 😂.
Thanks for cheering me one! A writer ALWAYS needs that. And I appreciate your interest in my China story...maybe someday I'll return to it. It was totally wild and fascinating and complex. Maybe I just need another decade of distance before I'm ready :)
Me too. I'd rather read than almost anything else.
And dude! You do get paid to read!! Way to live your best life!!
There is a depth in the reflection that I see when I look into your mirror that my mirror does not reveal. It is the richness you have lived, not the notches in your library card from which the bright light of your work emanates. May it shine! I'll bet a hot memoire about your frustration about the China adventure would be interesting. Sounds like a fertilizing chapter in your life. Be well.
I love the phrase "a fertilizing chapter in your life." I will remember that. There are so many periods in life that don't feel in the moment like they really amount to anything, but later you realize that they shaped you in some fundamental way.
Yeah, it reminds me of Vonneguts terms karass as opposed to grandfaloon. The people in your life who may only brush past once, but are in some way cosmically significant as opposed to people like family with whom you may share your whole life, but are not significant in quite the same sense. "Cat's Cradle," I think. (No cat, no cradle.)
This piece really resonated with me, Rae! I am one of those writers who says things like, "good writers are good readers." But that's something of a meme, and a lot of good information gets lost when we reduce down to the meme.
For one thing, there are good writers who don't read much. Walter Mosley, one of my favorite novelists, has said in interviews that he doesn't read other authors because he doesn't want their voices in his head. I think there's something to that. When I write fiction, I tend to stay away from reading fiction. And if I do read fiction, it's never the genre I'm writing in. I hear this a lot from writer friends. Most of my writer friends are screenwriters, and most of them write comedy, but when they sit down to read a book, they rarely pick a funny book. As one comedy writer friend told me, "I need to decompress from work, so I read the darkest crime fiction and horror I can find."
Of course, there's a lot to be said for familiarizing yourself with works in your chosen writing area. You learn a lot about structure, craft, and tone. You can also learn a lot about what readers look for when they read that kind of work, and that should inform how you think about the business of your writing.
But I think the personal lessons that come from reading are what matter most here. I used to be a screenwriter, and I was pretty miserable, tbh. The thing that helped me see that misery, though, was how I thought about reading screenplays. I started out as a screenwriter who was interested in reading scripts, but never passionate. Slowly at first, then quickly, my interest in reading screenplays went to zero. I kept writing screenplays, though. And I kept rewriting my screenplays, which also involves a lot of reading of screenplays. I kept telling myself that I did have a passion for reading, and that was true, but it wasn't the truth when it came to screenplays. At some point, though, I got honest with myself. Instead of pushing myself to read scripts I didn't want to read, I gave myself permission to not read them. Slowly at first, then quickly, I realized that I wasn't really passionate about reading screenplays, or writing them. But, and I think this is the important part, the passion for that type of writing (or in my case, lack of passion) showed up more in my reading than my writing. In other words, how I felt about reading screenplays ultimately told me what I needed to know about my own screenwriting.
As it turned out, I didn't feel the same way about fiction or personal essays. I have a lot of passion for reading fiction and personal essays, and that passion also shows up in my work. Am I a better writer because I'm well read in the areas I chose to write in? Yes, I think so. But I think what's more important is that I understand my passion. Because if I'm really passionate about something, I'll keep at it long past the point where a reasonable, sensible person would quit.
One more thing. There's nothing wrong with being a slow reader! I've made my living as a writer for 20-plus years, and people are always surprised when I tell them that I struggled to learn to read (eye issues and learning disabilities), and that I *still* struggle.
OK, I'm rambled on enough here. Thanks for this piece! I'm not a subscriber, even though I should've subscribed back when Alex Dobrenko told me too :)
Also, it sounds like Mr. Dobrenko is doing only a mediocre job at being my personal salesman, I will need to have a word with him ;)
Hey Michael! First of all that's hilarious that your friend reads the "darkest horror" he can find to decompress 😂
I really like your thoughts on how noticing what you like to read has informed what you write. It reminds me of the idea that you should pay attention to what you're jealous of, because it's a good indicator of what you want. I agree that the genres I like to read most (personal essays and memoir) align with what I like to write most. My whole endeavor with the China book was oriented around a more journalistic genre which I don't love as much.
Love that you are a slow reader and still love reading! Hoping I can get there...maybe it's just a matter of letting go of the nagging guilt that I should be reading faster.
Your responses are longer than my novels. Kidding. But not by much :)
Most novels are too long, so that speaks well of your work. 😁
Lol touché good sir 😳
My mom and her sisters were all avid readers. Then my middle sister. For me, it's hot and cold. If i get into what I'm reading, I continue- non-sleep and all until I'm done. I can stay up all night to re-read To Kill a Mockingbird. Don Winslow's latest is taking me forever. Your essays- I can't get enough of them. I have also created novels in my head but to put them on paper scares the shit out of me.
Totally know what you mean about hot and cold. Unfortunately for me, the "hot" is pretty rare, and when it happens, I'm like: "oooooh, this is what everyone's talking about" 😂
The way I approach a longer project, to start, is in 20 minute daily chunks. Twenty minutes of low-pressure writing, not from the beginning of the book or project, just whatever strikes that day. In my mind I'm always thinking, "this is just scratch, I will edit this heavily later," and that helps take the pressure off. Not sure if that will resonate with you, but putting it out there in case!