I'm always intrigued with your posts about your time as a CEO. It's rare to get that level of transparency and authenticity, so thank you.
I've rarely seen a successful business serve the two masters of value creation and societal impact. Without clarity of priority between those two goals, most businesses fail. I was significantly involved in one business that ought to have been a 501c3 and was in the end a compete "not for profit!" It helped a number of people but could never scale.
I can see, however, how trying to raise money, in part, on a societal impact premise you felt was exaggerated would be extremely stressful.
Would you have felt significantly less stressed if you had been able to say that you were in purely to create financial value?
I worked in New Business pitching for years. We almost always won the businesses where I felt confident in the proposed solution - and I was energized throughout the process. My most successful year was a year in which I didn’t (really) report to anyone. Then leadership and approach changed, and I could feel the alignment was off. My cancer recurred twice during this period.
A little over a year ago, I switched from New Biz to running the Working with Cancer initiative for my company. This perfectly aligned thing literally dropped into my lap, and I fought it initially; I was scared of losing a job that was becoming increasingly toxic and stressful and out of alignment. But now I get to develop and pitch this thing I deeply believe in (which keeping a corporate salary).
And I’ve been healthy since then, after dealing with stage 4 colon cancer for 4+ years. It doesn’t feel like coincidence.
Nothing on the scale of your other posters but over the last year I have also taken (and left) a series of jobs that for different reasons turned out to be different to how I hoped they would. The first was a start up that had grown so fast that the ‘ESG aspirations’ that I was hired to write about were unknown to most of their employees, causing a massive schism between what the organisation was saying publicly and what its people were (at that point) capable of actually delivering.
The second seemed like a great match - term time only / 30 hours - a good fit with my cancer recovery. But the message I was required to sell did not match with my own agnostic beliefs, and the demands of the job were well beyond the paid hours; not pitching in in my own time out of the goodness of my heart was apparently unthinkable.
The final...again an organisation that preached feminism and understanding of work life balance, and sold ideas that were ‘saving the world’ with little basis in reality. Yuck. They all felt wrong in so many ways.
Since then I’ve had two new roles. Writing for an amazing charity - Pregnant then Screwed - was fantastic. They represent women being penalised by the Motherhood Penalty. Volunteering for the charity Menopause and Cancer, supporting women who crash into the spectacular hormonal nightmare that is chemical / medical / natural menopause following cancer (writing from personal experience) and helping to raise funds to educate others feels really worthwhile.
Finally I’m supporting students with additional needs to attend university by scribing in lecturers and helping with study needs.
These jobs feel brilliant but pay poorly. I’m now at a crossroads. Do I look for yet another job that makes me feel like crap but pays better money, or....well I don’t even know what the or is. So if any of you need a copywriter / PR with passion for using who words to change the world for good (pretty much like the cartoon at the top!) then please look me up on LinkedIn.
I have worn a latex cat woman suit, and I did feel like a badass, though it was sweaty.
That being said, I work in the field of philanthropy and given capitalism, I often feel like there is cognitive dissonance between the idea of giving for giving's sake, and transactional relationships. See the amazing book by Amy Schiller (The Price of Humanity) for more. It's the book I don't have to write. I'm not sure what to do about it? Because some good is better than no good and I am not high powered enough to run with flaming moral sword against...neo-liberalism and unbridled capitalism in a world upon collapse (I'm so positive!) but I think that tension is something to keep me moving in the right direction>
Also, I kind of figure a lot more people than we will ever know have Imposter Syndrome and don't admit it which is part of the problem. It also gets back to Dobrenko's convos on dopamine and achieving...the thing...but the thing we achieve is the desire for the thing.
Good article and a great insight into a world that seems almost mythological to me.
What a great read Rachel! So value your perspective and open opinion. Startups and business is often so glorified and from being in a relationship with a serial founder I know how it can tear you wide open and even apart to bridge the gap between values, wants and needs sometimes.
To your question, I feel like in tech, especially the Silicon Valley tech bubble be it in SF or global (because these companies of course open other offices if things go “well”), there’s always this inner dilemma we face between what we think and believe and what we now we need to say and do. As long as we’re not free, whatever that may mean to us, there are silly rules and games
You shouldn’t blame yourself or beat yourself up because you were just basically playing the game and the start up system is set up in a way that leads to creating businesses like the one you headed...just for the sake of starting-up...I think you were in a high position of power, and you had power, a lot, and you don’t realize it, so tap your shoulder because you’re worth it! The moral of the story is always follow your heart with your head...for the service of others...
Tell Alex to get with the program. Those of us who have followed you from the start know all about your startup. You should start a contest: ask readers to suggest names for your book. "Capitalist in Disguise," or "Catwoman Suit for Sale; Used Once."
I agree with you and I've been asking those same questions about what a career is supposed to be. Recently I've been asking: do I know anyone that loves their job? That feels fully aligned with it? I've read about some of these people on blogs and podcasts but could I actually make a real connection with someone who feels this way?
A great astrologer will connect your purpose to your 2nd/6th/7th House Rulers as well as your Mars sign. When you can find the sweet spot, your purpose becomes more crystalline.
Beautiful post. Storytelling versus Telling Stories is soul suicide
I'm always intrigued with your posts about your time as a CEO. It's rare to get that level of transparency and authenticity, so thank you.
I've rarely seen a successful business serve the two masters of value creation and societal impact. Without clarity of priority between those two goals, most businesses fail. I was significantly involved in one business that ought to have been a 501c3 and was in the end a compete "not for profit!" It helped a number of people but could never scale.
I can see, however, how trying to raise money, in part, on a societal impact premise you felt was exaggerated would be extremely stressful.
Would you have felt significantly less stressed if you had been able to say that you were in purely to create financial value?
I worked in New Business pitching for years. We almost always won the businesses where I felt confident in the proposed solution - and I was energized throughout the process. My most successful year was a year in which I didn’t (really) report to anyone. Then leadership and approach changed, and I could feel the alignment was off. My cancer recurred twice during this period.
A little over a year ago, I switched from New Biz to running the Working with Cancer initiative for my company. This perfectly aligned thing literally dropped into my lap, and I fought it initially; I was scared of losing a job that was becoming increasingly toxic and stressful and out of alignment. But now I get to develop and pitch this thing I deeply believe in (which keeping a corporate salary).
And I’ve been healthy since then, after dealing with stage 4 colon cancer for 4+ years. It doesn’t feel like coincidence.
Nothing on the scale of your other posters but over the last year I have also taken (and left) a series of jobs that for different reasons turned out to be different to how I hoped they would. The first was a start up that had grown so fast that the ‘ESG aspirations’ that I was hired to write about were unknown to most of their employees, causing a massive schism between what the organisation was saying publicly and what its people were (at that point) capable of actually delivering.
The second seemed like a great match - term time only / 30 hours - a good fit with my cancer recovery. But the message I was required to sell did not match with my own agnostic beliefs, and the demands of the job were well beyond the paid hours; not pitching in in my own time out of the goodness of my heart was apparently unthinkable.
The final...again an organisation that preached feminism and understanding of work life balance, and sold ideas that were ‘saving the world’ with little basis in reality. Yuck. They all felt wrong in so many ways.
Since then I’ve had two new roles. Writing for an amazing charity - Pregnant then Screwed - was fantastic. They represent women being penalised by the Motherhood Penalty. Volunteering for the charity Menopause and Cancer, supporting women who crash into the spectacular hormonal nightmare that is chemical / medical / natural menopause following cancer (writing from personal experience) and helping to raise funds to educate others feels really worthwhile.
Finally I’m supporting students with additional needs to attend university by scribing in lecturers and helping with study needs.
These jobs feel brilliant but pay poorly. I’m now at a crossroads. Do I look for yet another job that makes me feel like crap but pays better money, or....well I don’t even know what the or is. So if any of you need a copywriter / PR with passion for using who words to change the world for good (pretty much like the cartoon at the top!) then please look me up on LinkedIn.
I have worn a latex cat woman suit, and I did feel like a badass, though it was sweaty.
That being said, I work in the field of philanthropy and given capitalism, I often feel like there is cognitive dissonance between the idea of giving for giving's sake, and transactional relationships. See the amazing book by Amy Schiller (The Price of Humanity) for more. It's the book I don't have to write. I'm not sure what to do about it? Because some good is better than no good and I am not high powered enough to run with flaming moral sword against...neo-liberalism and unbridled capitalism in a world upon collapse (I'm so positive!) but I think that tension is something to keep me moving in the right direction>
Also, I kind of figure a lot more people than we will ever know have Imposter Syndrome and don't admit it which is part of the problem. It also gets back to Dobrenko's convos on dopamine and achieving...the thing...but the thing we achieve is the desire for the thing.
Good article and a great insight into a world that seems almost mythological to me.
What a great read Rachel! So value your perspective and open opinion. Startups and business is often so glorified and from being in a relationship with a serial founder I know how it can tear you wide open and even apart to bridge the gap between values, wants and needs sometimes.
To your question, I feel like in tech, especially the Silicon Valley tech bubble be it in SF or global (because these companies of course open other offices if things go “well”), there’s always this inner dilemma we face between what we think and believe and what we now we need to say and do. As long as we’re not free, whatever that may mean to us, there are silly rules and games
I am really struggling with this topic. I wrote about it last year here: https://brenna.substack.com/p/the-value-of-work
If anyone else struggles with this I'd love to talk more :)
You shouldn’t blame yourself or beat yourself up because you were just basically playing the game and the start up system is set up in a way that leads to creating businesses like the one you headed...just for the sake of starting-up...I think you were in a high position of power, and you had power, a lot, and you don’t realize it, so tap your shoulder because you’re worth it! The moral of the story is always follow your heart with your head...for the service of others...
Love the frank opinion on a topic so close to your heart
Tell Alex to get with the program. Those of us who have followed you from the start know all about your startup. You should start a contest: ask readers to suggest names for your book. "Capitalist in Disguise," or "Catwoman Suit for Sale; Used Once."
Maybe I need a rec to this astrologer!
I agree with you and I've been asking those same questions about what a career is supposed to be. Recently I've been asking: do I know anyone that loves their job? That feels fully aligned with it? I've read about some of these people on blogs and podcasts but could I actually make a real connection with someone who feels this way?
A great astrologer will connect your purpose to your 2nd/6th/7th House Rulers as well as your Mars sign. When you can find the sweet spot, your purpose becomes more crystalline.
*correction 2nd/6th/10th Hourse + Mars Ruler + Midheaven. Coffee didn’t kick in yet
Sounds like something I need
I have several astrologers that are incredible. Feel free to email me at christyahardin@hotmail.com and I can give you options.
My advised that Sun and Moon are in sextile but he felt sorry for any lovers of mine. #astrojokes